Body Parts

Eva Amurri to hipster companion: My father was telling me the dangers of aspartame — you know the stuff in Diet Coke? It’s like a sugar. It was once registered as a chemical weapon.
Hipster companion: Yeah?
Eva Amurri: If there is any way to become a superhero, it has to be by drinking Diet Coke.
[later] Eva Amurri to hipster companion: I can’t remember how it ends… If he dies in a war or if Gatsby gets in a car crash, but he loves Daisy.
[later still] Eva Amurri: Pasties are Band-Aids that only cover your nipples.

–Acela train leaving Penn Station

Overheard by: could you maybe namedrop your mom less, Miss Top-Volume-At-All-Times?

Girl: Well, Christy works with three people who are getting sex changes.
Guy: Yeah, but she works at a vegan restaurant.

–Ave A & St. Mark’s Place

Overheard by: jenny wallace

Woman #1: She got a booty do
Woman #2: A booty do?
Woman #1: Yeah, you know, when your belly stick out more than your booty do?

–4 train

Tall guy: Dude I swear to god, I was on my bed with this mad hot chick and we were making out for like a whole hour…
Short guy: Yeah? Did you put it in?
Tall guy: No…you don’t understand…I was feeling her down there, and she…duuuuuude…she had a cock!

Pause

Short guy: Yeah? Did you put it in?

–L’Express

Overheard by: John Eckstein

Toddler girl: Penis!

–The Time Warner Center

Overheard by: Ally

Guy talking to two male friends: Shut up! Shut the fuck up! If you don’t want to put your dick in my mouth, that’s OK, but shut up!

–Downtown A train platform, W. 4th St

Overheard by: miss professor

Hipster guy on phone: No, no, no, no that is the sound that they said my penis made when it died.

–Morgan & Grattan, East Williamsburg

Man: Isn’t “volvo” the medical term for a vagina?

–Jacob Javits Center

Overheard by: Tesla

Guy #1: Man it’s got to be the weather, ’cause I’ve been crazy horny lately.
Guy #2: Yeah, chicks are a just as horny, only difference is our testicles hang on the outside of our bodies.

–36th & 7th

Dude: I’ve fired 3 people in the last 2 weeks. One girl was fat. But she didn’t know it. She would come into work with her belly falling out of her shirt. I just couldn’t take it anymore.

–NYSC, 38th & Broadway

Overheard by: Aimee

Girl: Wow! Did you see the rack on her?
Guy: Where?
Girl: Over there…
Guy: Man! You’re not kidding!
Girl: See what I do for you? Who’s the best girlfriend ever?

–Rockefeller Center

Little boy: Huge ass.
Woman: What?
Little boy: Huge ass!

–79th Street 1 station