Wednesday One-Liners –Unclean! Unclean!

Eight-year-old boy to another: You usta play dirty house with her!

–E 9th St & Ave A

Overheard by: Fred Daubert

Visibly annoyed ghetto-fab young lady, while loudly cracking her gum: They too many nationalities on this bus and most of them don’t be clean.

–57th St Bus

Overheard by: tinyfoo

Chick, looking at rat sipping from puddle: Eeeww, how can he drink that? It’s so dirty!

–6 Platform, Grand Central

Guy on escalator, to friend: … Dirty sandwich…

–E Train

Overheard by: M_C

Male student: Either you’re a dirty, stinking hippie, or you’re pretentious.

–Bard High School Early College Library

Thuggish hobo: Please! Somebody talk dirty to me!

–Washington Square Park

Posted on May 28, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Boys, Cleanliness, Food, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Hobos, Insults, Kids, Lower East Side, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Sexuality, Students, Stupidity, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Washington Square Park

You Don’t Have To– He Got Over It

Little boy: Did the Jews kill Jesus?
Tutor: No. It was the Romans.
Little boy: Aw, man! I hate the Romans! [angrily pounds fist on table]

–Community Center, 109th & Lexington

Overheard by: Drew

Posted on May 26, 2008
Boys, Default, History & Geography, Jesus, Judaism, Kids, Murder, Questions, Teachers/Professors, Upper East Side

Didn’t They Say to Direct All Questions to the Tour Guide?

Teen girl: If you cut off a guy’s penis, how long do you think it would take for him to bleed to death?
Teen boy: Uh…
Teen girl: Hypothetically, I mean.

–Natural History Museum

Posted on May 25, 2008
Blood & bleeding, Boys, Default, Girls, Murder, Museum of Natural History, Penis, Questions, Teens, Upper East Side, Weirdness

…Not at That Woman’s Boobs

Tourist mom, talking extremely loud: Nature means happiness.
Five-year-old son: Why?
Tourist mom: Because nature means life -look at how beautiful nature is.
Five-year-old son: Whoa! Now that’s nature.
Tourist mom: The trees are nice; the road not so much… Look at the sea of trains…

–LIRR

Overheard by: JUSTSHUT UP!

Posted on May 25, 2008
Animals & Nature, Beauty, Boys, Compare/Contrast, Default, Happiness, Kids, Moms, Philosophy, Tourists, Trains Not Subway, Words

We Can Only Enjoy the City Ironically

Boy, looking at table full of cheap souvenirs: Hey mom!
Embarrassed mom: No, those are for tourists. We live here!

–Near Trinity Church

Overheard by: amused tourist

Posted on May 24, 2008
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Boys, Compare/Contrast, Kids, Moms, Shopping, Tourism, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wishes & desires

We Can Drunk-Dial Daddy at Work!

[Mother and four-year-old boy walking past liquor store]Mom: So we have to go to Duane Reade and… Oooh! Let’s get some wine.
Boy: Yeah!

–115th & Broadway

Posted on May 24, 2008
Boys, Default, Drinks, Kids, Moms, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wishes & desires

We’re Still Jews Though, Right?

Little boy: …I met another girl at school who is Mexican!
Mother: Colombian! We’re Colombian!

–65th & Riverside

Posted on May 24, 2008
Boys, Compare/Contrast, Default, Elementary & Middle School, History & Geography, Kids, Moms, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Don’t Bite the Hand That Steers You

Bus driver, on loudspeaker: If your stop is Main street, please get off here.
Punk high school kid in back of bus: Fuckin’ asshole!
Bus driver, on loudspeaker: Yo mama.

–Q88 Bus

Overheard by: quite amused