Tourist mom, talking extremely loud: Nature means happiness.
Five-year-old son: Why?
Tourist mom: Because nature means life -look at how beautiful nature is.
Five-year-old son: Whoa! Now that’s nature.
Tourist mom: The trees are nice; the road not so much… Look at the sea of trains…
–LIRR
Overheard by: JUSTSHUT UP!
Boy, looking at table full of cheap souvenirs: Hey mom!
Embarrassed mom: No, those are for tourists. We live here!
–Near Trinity Church
Overheard by: amused tourist
[Mother and four-year-old boy walking past liquor store]Mom: So we have to go to Duane Reade and… Oooh! Let’s get some wine.
Boy: Yeah!
–115th & Broadway
Little boy: …I met another girl at school who is Mexican!
Mother: Colombian! We’re Colombian!
–65th & Riverside
Bus driver, on loudspeaker: If your stop is Main street, please get off here.
Punk high school kid in back of bus: Fuckin’ asshole!
Bus driver, on loudspeaker: Yo mama.
–Q88 Bus
Overheard by: quite amused
Girl: I think it’s because he’s a drug addict.
Boy: No it is not! I know a lot of drug addicts, and they are nice! He’s just an asshole.
–Epoca, Fort Greene
Four-year-old boy to mom eating a Big Mac: Mommy, can I try some?
Mom: You won’t like it. It tastes like salad.
–McDonald’s, Broadway b/w Waverly and Astor Place
Overheard by: Jen
13-year-old boy #1: Dude, you know what I did? I totally called Donna and told her you made a date with a fat chick.
13-year-old boy #2: You did not.
13-year-old boy #1: I totally did. She thought it was really funny. Sorry.
13-year-old boy #3: You guys are wasting my time and my life. [gets up and leaves]
–Cosi, 13th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: thank god i’m not 13 anymore
Little boy #1: I’m going to smash your bike!
Little boy #2: Well, if you smash my bike, I’m going to get a lawyer and sue you!
–Central Park
Little boy: Dad, can I get a sucker?
Dad: No.
Little boy: Please dad? Why not?
Dad: Suckers are for girls.
–Target Shopping Center
Overheard by: Alaina
