I’m Guessing Legacy Admission

Mom: Do you know that she got into Brooklyn University? They must let everyone in there.
Dad: Brooklyn University?
Mom: Um, or maybe Long Island University? Or maybe Brooklyn University in Long Island?

–Shun Lee Cafe, West 65th Street

Posted on March 21, 2006
Brooklyn College, College, Parents, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Your Prescription is Wednesday One-liners

Dowager: Today was the first day I took a Celebrex since the pogo stick thing.

–Park & 60th

Overheard by: Frank Laser

Posted on March 15, 2006
Body Parts, College, Drugs, Health and Hygiene, Hipsters, Hospitals, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, National Security, NYU, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Soho, Teens, The Village, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Wednesday One-liners Found “The One”

Suit on cell: It’s sex: somebody’s always taking advantage of someone else…Oh shit, this girl just gave me a look. That’s gonna be on Overheard tomorrow, I just know it.

–45th & Lexington

Overheard by: No, not her

Posted on March 15, 2006
College, Dating, Fordham, Manhattan, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Relationships, Retail Therapy, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Stupidity, Suits, The Bronx, Times Square, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Wednesday One-liners Speak Well English

Girl on cell: Oh my God, I am like so uncoherent today.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Athens Mol

Posted on March 15, 2006
Brooklyn, Celebrities Overheard, College, Columbia (& Barnard), Drinking & Drunk People, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Park Slope, Stupidity, Teens, The Village, Times Square, Upper East Side

Heavy on the Bangs

Chick #1: Oh, you’re wearing your hair open today!
Chick #2: “Open”?
Chick #1: Well, you know what I mean…
Chick #2: Oh, yeah. It’s open like a brothel.
Chick #1: What?
Chick #2: It’s open like a brothel.

–Barnard College

Posted on March 14, 2006
College, Fashion, Manhattan, Stupidity, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

That’s Called Veal

Guy #1: So you don’t eat beef, huh?
Guy #2: Nah, man.
Guy #1: You’re that religious that you don’t eat beef?
Guy #2: Yeah, I guess.
Guy #1: Well, you’ve got cheese on your grilled chicken, what about that?
Guy #2: What about it?
Guy #1: Well, you’re killing the cow.
Guy #2: No, I’m not…
Guy #1: Oh, well, what about cows that drink cow’s milk?

–Hayden Dining Hall, Washington Square West

Overheard by: Calvin T.

Posted on March 13, 2006
College, Food, Manhattan, NYU, Stupidity, The Village, Vegetarian & Vegan

Not as Interesting as the Reversal

Dude #1: Going to NYU is interesting.
Dude #2: No, getting a girl pregnant is interesting.

–Washington Square South & LaGuardia

Posted on March 11, 2006
College, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, NYU, Pregnancy & Birth Control, The Village

Philosophy ‘n Shit (A NYC Short Story)

Spanish guy: Life is shit. You never know. Shit is shit. If you’re already smart and you make a computer, it’ll be fucking smart like in the movie AI. The devil at work like in Six Days with Schwarzenegger. Movies are like real ‘n shit. It’s bin Laden and that fucking Hussein, they’re in cohoots ‘n shit. They want to make us like them…a third world country ‘n shit.

Spanish guy: College don’t mean nothin’ ’cause you could fucking graduate with papers and shit, then someone’s friend gets the goddam job ‘n shit. It don’t matter ’bout college ’cause that fuckin’ asshole makes $70,000 so you got the college paper and that don’t mean shit.

Spanish guy: Best burgers is Burger King, but White Castle is the jam.
Spanish girl: Ew, no!
Spanish guy: No man, that shit is good, but only when the meat is fresh ‘n shit. Like they just cook it now ‘n shit. The only thing is if the bread is old ‘n shit or if too many onions ‘n shit. Yo, I made 50 bucks from my brother-in-law when I ate 53 ‘n shit. He ate 50. That was when I was husky ’cause I played football ‘n shit.

–D train

Overheard by: Valerie Velazquez