Super-drunk girl to girlfriend: Let’s make out!
Not-so-drunk girl: (awkward laughter)
Super-drunk girl: (loud drunken laughter) Wanna make out?
Not-so-drunk girl: Not at all!
–1st Ave b/w 7th & 8th
Super-drunk girl to girlfriend: Let’s make out!
Not-so-drunk girl: (awkward laughter)
Super-drunk girl: (loud drunken laughter) Wanna make out?
Not-so-drunk girl: Not at all!
–1st Ave b/w 7th & 8th
Guy, to girl: …and when I told her it was an espresso she said she hadn’t ordered that. She said she had ordered coffee.
Guy and girl, at the same time: An espresso is coffee!
Guy: And then she said: “Can I get some milk for this?”
Girl: Oh my god, are you serious?
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Hannah
Two-year-old boy: Mom, I missed you a lot in school.
Mother: Don’t talk.
–Pizza Place, 86th & Broadway
Overheard by: eliza
Young guy in green polo: If he wasn’t a moron and wanted to kill the Jews, I would have voted for Hitler.
Young guy in blue button-down: Yeah, me too!
–Grey Papaya’s, 8th St & 6th Ave
20-something girl: I thought you said this walk was only fifteen minutes?
Eastern European guy: This is a walk of shame! Walk of shaaaame.
20-something girl (looking sad): That isn’t what this is, is it?
–Dunkin Donuts, Nostrand and Lafayette
Overheard by: Kire
Dad, to four-year-old son: That’s great, send you off to school all jacked-up on chocolate chip pancakes.
Four-year-old: Jack up! Jack up! Jack off!
–SoHo Breakfast Cafe
Overheard by: dylan
Professor: So as I’ve said the exam will be open book, and you can work with your classmates.
Student: Is it open book?
Professor: Ahhhh… I’m tired, and I need a martini.
–NYU Classroom
Gay Asian #1: The guys here are really different from the guys I see in the East Village.
Gay Asian #2: Well, all the guys here have jobs.
Gay Asian #1: Oh… True.
–Vlada, Hell’s Kitchen
Food vendor: What would you like?
Customer: What is the difference between a knish and a hot dog?
Food vendor: A knish is delish and the hot dog is a hot dog.
Customer: A knish is delish? Well, I will have the knish please.
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Tang
