Old suit to magazine stand man: You know, they were going to transfer me to India but they had only one condition.
Stand man: Oh, what was that?
Old suit: I needed a cobra.
–University Place
Overheard by: Julia
Old suit to magazine stand man: You know, they were going to transfer me to India but they had only one condition.
Stand man: Oh, what was that?
Old suit: I needed a cobra.
–University Place
Overheard by: Julia
Old, grumpy man: Where is the express line?
Woman: Right here.
[Old, grumpy man attempts to cut the line.]Woman: I don’t know if you can see it, but the back of the line is all the way over there!
Old, grumpy man: But I’m a Christian!
–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: David Sanchez
Teenage dancer guy #1: I think he’d want his favorite student to eat at his favorite restaurant.
Teenage dancer guy #2: You’re not his favorite student, you’re just his sex buddy.
–W 85th St b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: uptowngirl137
College girl: Woah, dude! How do you even live?!
College guy: I mean, I dunno. I just like pee outta my mouth.
–4th & Mercer
Guy: Let’s go watch Legally Blonde and do heroin.
Friend: Yeah!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Rosanna
Girl: So, how many people do you share an apartment with right now?
Guy: Seventeen.
Girl: That’s cool!
–Lower East Side
Student teacher: Guys! Seriously! Was the Underground Railroad an actual train?
7th graders: No.
Student teacher: Then why did you all circle “true” for number 8: “The Underground Railroad ran on coal”?
–University Neighborhood Middle School
Old lady to bus driver: This service is getting worse and worse.
Bus driver, on loudspeaker: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the best service we can provide at this moment. For any complaints please call the MTA [Pause.] And let me tell you this now… They won’t do anything.
–M79 Bus
Overheard by: Mr. Fix-it !! (HH)
Obnoxiously loud girl: So I was at this party and this really drunk girl was like: “Oh my god, pierce my nipples!” and this guy did and I watched the whole thing.
Her friend: Really?
Obnoxiously loud girl: Yeah! But I was expecting blood, don’t you think there’d be blood?
–Starbucks, Washington Square
