Comedy club promoter: You girls like comedy clubs, right?
Girl: No, sorry.
Comedy club promoter: You must be from New Jersey.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Lana S.
Comedy club promoter: You girls like comedy clubs, right?
Girl: No, sorry.
Comedy club promoter: You must be from New Jersey.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Lana S.
Mac specialist #1: Hey, what’s up, man?
Mac specialist #2: Not much, man. Take a look at this [holds up his pinky finger, looking disgusted].
Mac specialist #1: What is that?
Mac specialist #2: I think I fingered somebody.
Mac specialist #1: No!
–Apple, 5th Ave
Chick #1: Oh my god! You have Sonic the Hedgehog on your phone?! I used to love his partner. What was her name? Oh, yeah, it was ‘Tails’!
Chick #2: Yeah, they used to call me that at my old job.
Chick #1: They used to call you ‘Sonic’ at work?
Chick #2: They used to call me ‘Tails,’ not ‘Sonic,’ motherfucker.
–L train
Overheard by: yooo nellehh!!!
Guy #1: I’ll be up in a minute. I’m just gonna have a smoke.
Guy #2, on speakerphone: Yo, I feel great!
Guy #1: Wait, so you’re not injured?
Guy #2: No, I have three screws in my leg… but no one’s getting arrested!
–Outside Lutheran Hospital
Overheard by: J-Dawg
College girl to friend: Yeah, my roommate and I had a cute, girly apartment last year… with a fridge full of beer.
Old black guy nearby: Hahahaha.
–Target
Overheard by: alie
Blonde WASP: Yeah, and Kristen’s hot!
Brunette WASP: But only once you get to know her…
Blonde WASP: Yeah, you’re totally right… She kinda looks like Marilyn Manson.
Brunette WASP: Oh my god, it’s true! But in a hot way.
Blonde WASP, later on: He totally had to get a septuplet bypass.
Brunette WASP: That sounds so bad.
Blonde WASP: Yeah, they take veins from your leg! He was so fat.
–N train
Overheard by: JayTro
Tranny throw-down in the middle of the street blocks traffic.
Man on cell: Come across the street — there’s a tranny fight!
Woman looking down subway stairs: You’re missing the action!
Trendy girl to boyfriend: Ugh, fighting in front of Starbucks? Real classy.
–Grove St & 7th Ave
Boyfriend, under his breath: I really need to find a dark corner.
Girlfriend, loudly: You could just pee in my mouth!
–10th & Broadway
Chick: They just hate me so much. I bet they were so happy when we broke up last spring.
Dude: Yeah, they took me out to dinner.
–2 train
Girl #1: Oh my god, that kid’s head is stuck between the bars! [Entire bus crowd looks as kid pulls head out.]Girl #2: His head wasn’t stuck.
Boy: Oh my god, is that Hugh Jackman? [Entire bus crowd looks.]
–Bus outside the Met
