Hobo: Sir, can I trouble you for a cigarette?
Suit #1: Yeah no problem, man.
Hobo: Have a light, too?
Suit #1: Sure.
Hobo: Thanks, man… get the FUCK outta my face!
Suit #2: Only in NYC, man…
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Rob
Hobo: Sir, can I trouble you for a cigarette?
Suit #1: Yeah no problem, man.
Hobo: Have a light, too?
Suit #1: Sure.
Hobo: Thanks, man… get the FUCK outta my face!
Suit #2: Only in NYC, man…
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Rob
Black woman: You cut in front of him because he’s black!
White woman: I did not, I just didn’t see him!
Black woman: You didn’t see him because he’s too black?
–Bloomingdale’s
Guy #1: Secrets are meant to be kept in your head, not in a book.
Guy #2: Sometimes I forget those secrets and need a reference!
–Midtown Comics
Girl #1: Oh my god! I just heard that Katie Holmes had her baby! Katie Holmes had her baby, everyone!
Girl #2: Xenu commands you to shut the fuck up while I’m on the phone with my dealer.
–6th Avenue & West 4th Street
Overheard by: Robin M.
(cf. When we broke this story.)
Construction guy: Can’t we move this line a little faster? This line isn’t moving anywhere. What’s with this line?
Lady: Here, you can go ahead of me.
Construction guy: I’m using humor, lady. This is just humor. I’m not serious here. [Gets in front of her in line.]
–4th St
Overheard by: the girl who fainted at Starbucks
Woman: Have you ever been to Chelsea piers?
Man: No, I can’t say I have.
Woman: Oh. It’s wonderful. It has a great view of New Jersey.
Man: (sounding disgusted) Oh. (feigning interest) New Jersey, huh?
–Elevator, 25th & 8th
Hobo: Can you spare some change?…Hey, could I have another one?
Man #1: What? Another dollar? I already gave you one; fuck you!
Man #2: Now that’s what I call an ungrateful motherfucker.
–6 train
Overheard by: Rita E.
Black female customer: “Forget it, girl you must be suffering from NIGligence”
– At Au Bon Pain on 37th & 5th, when she just missed the 4-6pm half price baked goods by one minute, and the black female who worked behind the register would not let her buy them for half price
Old man wearing suspenders #1: That's a great pair of suspenders.
Old man wearing suspenders #2: Thanks. I had a heckuva time getting them.
Library security guard: Sir, please lower your voice.
–New York Public Library, 34th & Madison
Hipster girl after huge black guy sneezes: Bless you.
Huge black guy: You don’t know me!
–Shuttle to Times Square
Overheard by: Suburban Liz
