That’s a Privilege I Reserve for My Clients

Guy: What do you do?
Girl: I’m a probation officer.
Guy: Oh, criminal or family?
Girl: Criminal.
Guy: Can I pee in your cup?

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Paul

Posted on July 4, 2008
Crime and Punishment, Default, Ew, Jersey, Girls, Guys, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Pee, Questions, Trains Not Subway

Hey, Wednesday One-Liners, What Exit You From?

Mom to three-year-old: Actually, there are two other airports in New York. One is called ‘JFK,’ and the other is called ‘New Jersey.’

–111th & Broadway

Overheard by: Fudd

Drunk girl: Well, somebody’s walking back to Jersey tonight!

–Times Square

Man on cell: Well, you’re really going to have to gather whatever inner strength you’ve got, look inside yourself, stay strong… Be prepared to live without me around… Huh? New Jersey! What did you think I meant?

–42nd & 5th

Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson

Guy on cell: She’s moving to Israel? Really? I guess people really will do anything to get out of New Jersey.

–Park Slope

Woman on cell: No, you see, this guy was a Jersey guy. He might have made it big on Wall Street, but he’s a Jersey guy. That was a mistake.

–Battery Park

Posted on December 20, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Ew, Jersey, NYC Geography, Public Transportation, Stupidity, U.S. Geography, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

I See Your Newark and Raise You a Trenton

Guy #1: It could be worse.
Guy #2: Worse? How?
Guy #1: Newark.
Guy #2: Newark… Right. I see your point.

–Duane Reade, 8th & Broadway

Posted on December 9, 2006
Compare/Contrast, Duane Reade, Ew, Jersey, Guys, Talking/Convos, U.S. Geography

We’re Trying to Get You to Develop an Immunity

Little girl: Ew, Daddy, it smells like Jersey over here.
Dad: I know, sweetie.

–30th St

Overheard by: Kate

Posted on July 29, 2006
Dads, Etiquette, Ew, Jersey, Glad the Condom Broke, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Parents

Another Teen Emergency. Call the Ambivalence.

Girl: I was like, “High school is over. I can’t wait to get away from everyone!” And then, thanks to you, I actually realized that I might miss some people. You, James*, Gabrielle*, Dave V.*, Karen G.*!
Guy: But all of us except James are going to St. John’s, and he’s coming here to Queens.
Girl: But Gabrielle is going to Jersey! Everyone knows that once you go to Jersey, your soul dies.

–Queens College campus

Overheard by: Peter G.

Posted on July 2, 2006
College, Death, Ew, Jersey, Friends, Friendship, Girls, Guys, People, Places, Queens, Queens College, School, School and studying, Students, Topics, Venues

And Don’t Call Me Roger

Conductor #1: If you are traveling with small child, the elderly, or the intoxicated, be sure to take them by the hand as there is a large gap between the train and the station platform.
Conductor #2: Dude, shut up.
Conductor #1: Roger that.

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: One of the intoxicated