Heavily accented barista: Vat can I get forrr you?
Customer: I'll have a tall, iced, nonfat latte…I like your accent. Are you from Brazil?
Heavily accented barista: No, I'm from Bulgaria.
Customer: Oh. Is that near Brazil?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: *smacks forehead with hand*
Foreign guy to tall, skinny, black guy with dyed-blonde afro and goatee: You look just like Aretha Franklin. You look just like Aretha Franklin!
Afro guy: Thanks, man.
–Church & Reade
Young man #1: My man told me his girl was one of those.
Young man #2: Oh, word?
Young man #1: Yeah, I thought they were imaginary… Like Eskimos.
–A Train
Black man to Australian girls in wizard hats: I know magic.
Australian girls: You do not. Tell us a spell then, and not abracadabra. That doesn't count.
Black man: I'll give you a spell. Alakazaam.
Australian girls: Sorry, that's not real. You're too muggle for us, go away.
–33rd St & 2nd Ave
Girl: Happy 4th of July!
Boyfriend: Why are you so happy about it? You're not American.
Girl: I am too, I was born here!
Boyfriend: I'm waaaay more American than you.
Girl: What, you think Puerto Ricans came over on the Mayflower?
–Union Market, Park Slope
Girl, to no one in particular: This train is so packed! It's thrilling! It feels like sex!
Bemused Aussie: This is what it feels like? Getting crammed up against 200 of your best mates?
Girl: You're right. I must be doing it wrong…
–Packed E Train
Overheard by: Dave
Black bro: And based on what she texted me, I had to hit it!
White bro: So did you hit that?
Black bro: Bro, she was German!
–86th St & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: Waiting for the M86
Instructor: Those people outside are crazy, wearing big ol' leather boots in this kind of heat!
Student: Maybe they're from Texas?
Instructor: Nah, they looked pretty American to me.
–Beauty School, 35th & 8th
Overheard by: Bean
Tween boy, interrupting conversation with German girl: Wait! Do you live near the autobahn?
German girl: What?
Tween boy: The autobahn. It's like the parkway!
–22nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Passerby to driver making illegal turn: No red on right in Manhattan!
Driver: Well, I'm from Philly, so whatever!
–44th St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
