Guy #1: You’ve been snackin’ recently.
Guy #2: What do you mean?
Guy #1: Spitting in my sandwiches –and I still eat them, but there’s no trust!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Been Jamin’
Guy #1: You’ve been snackin’ recently.
Guy #2: What do you mean?
Guy #1: Spitting in my sandwiches –and I still eat them, but there’s no trust!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Been Jamin’
Guy #1: Man, do you think *Jane is hot?
Guy #2: I mean she’s smart, but I wouldn’t say she’s hot. Why do you think she’s into you?
Guy #1: Well, I think that she thinks I’m arrogant, but I’m not. It just comes off that way because I’m really insecure, my confidence is all fake.
Guy #3: Hey, I think that girl is listening to us… And she’s laughing.
Guy #1: Anyway… Can we please talk about my insecurities for a while, we never talk about me.
–Metro North
Overheard by: texting her friend the whole convo
Six-year-old girl, after careful consideration: Oh, well. That’s Ok. A baby is almost as much fun as a trampoline.
–Sidewalk Cafe
Guy to friend at 1 AM on a Thursday: Hey, I have an idea -let’s talk about how Dan fucked my ex-girlfriend! That’ll be fun, that’s a good story!
–PATH Train to Hoboken
Overheard by: Katie
Cali girl, to her roommate: We need to be more like coke whores but, like, without the coke, and not the whore part, but just like, opulent and fun.
–133rd & Frederick Douglass
Overheard by: Nathalie
Guy on cell: But, mother, maybe she wants to have fun for a couple of years before she becomes a nun.
–Midtown
Overheard by: Killer
20-something woman on cell: When I left my mom just now she said, ‘Have fun gay-tripping in California.’ Uhmmmmm?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: McF
Middle aged babysitter corralling flock of young children down the street: This should be fun… How come it isn’t? Anybody got any ideas?
–18th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Dave
Black male with empty 2-wheeler: Man, I’m about to slap fire out my boss.
Friend, looking at Puerto Rican Chick sitting across from them: Heh…
Black male with empty 2-wheeler: Sixty-three fuckin’ dollaz man!?! Sixty-three fuckin’… Who the fuck pays sixty-three dollaz for a bag of ice?!
Friend, still looking at Puerto Rican Chick sitting across from them: Heh…
Black male with empty 2-wheeler: What the fuck? Must be glacial ice! Straight from the muffuckin glacier ‘n shit.
Friend, still looking at Puerto Rican Chick sitting across from them: Heh…
Black male with empty 2-wheeler: Maybe it was organic ice or some shit: I can’t believe this shit!
[Puerto Rican chic rolls her eyes.]
Friend, no longer looking at Puerto Rican Chick sitting across from them: You’re fuckin up my game again, son.
–F train
Chick #1: I didn’t call you fat.
Chick #2: Yes, you did! I remember it vividly! But it’s okay, ’cause I just forgot.
–34th & Broadway
Overheard by: may
Bimbette: Luckily for me, all of my friends are really unhappy.
–Urban Outfitters, Broadway & E Houston
Overheard by: Loring
Little boy to nanny: I don’t want to play with my backup friends today! I hate the transit strike!
–Central Park
JAP: Can we talk about how he went orb hunting with his friends instead of coming to my place to cuddle me?!
–Central Park
20-something chick: I would be a lot closer friends with her if it weren’t for her hair.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Ladle
Eight-year-old girl to younger brother: You don’t deserve to go to your friend’s… You deserve to be punished in a dungeon!
–9th & 5th, Park Slope
Overheard by: brownthomas
Nine-year-old girl to father: All my friends have issues…
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Little girl looking at ice cream cake featuring Dora the Explorer: Look, Mommy — there’s all my friends!
–Dunkin’ Donuts/Baskin Robbins, 30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Wench
High school kid #1: Yo, man, give me a pound! Man, don’t leave me hanging!
High school kid #2: What? Oh, I’m pounding you in my head.
High school kid #1: Yo, nasty!
High school kid #2: I meant with my fist! … To your fist.
–Main St, Flushing
Girl on cell: I don’t like you, bye. No, I really don’t like you. You’re not my friend. Bye. No, I don’t like you!
–Manhattan-bound Q train
Overheard by: I love you too… now shut up!
Security guard on phone: I have a lot of friends… I have a lot of friends. I don’t need to live with my friends, under my house.
–Columbia University
Girl on cell: All I heard all night was, ‘Oh my god, that’s Rachel. I used to date her sister’s roommate!’ And, ‘Oh my god, that’s Evan. Her brother went to camp with my ex-girlfriend’s cousin!’ I’m either gonna have to learn how to fake-play Jewish geography, or find myself some non-Jewish friends… Yes, I realize neither of those is possible.
–33rd & 7th
Drunk lunatic screaming at another: Do you wanna die?! Or do you wanna be my friend?!
–31st & Broadway
Overheard by: please don’t make me choose!
Conductor: Excuse me! Excuse me! A little frottage amongst friends never hurt anyone!
–Crowded Metro-North, New Haven Line
Overheard by: vanessa
Puking girl: At least I’m getting rid of calories.
Friend helping her: That’s right.
Puking girl: And I don’t like calories.
–Pier 60, Chelsea Piers
Overheard by: gleebster
NYU girl: I’m so stressed out.
NYU boy: You’re stressed out? I’m rushing for a fraternity. I’m stressed out.
NYU girl: What do you have to do?
NYU boy: Can’t say. It’s top secret.
NYU girl: Oh my gawd, tell me!
NYU boy, jokingly: I get hazed.
NYU girl: What’s hazed?
NYU boy: Oh my god. Wikipedia it.
NYU girl: What’s Wikipedia? Well, whatever. I want to rush for a fraternity.
NYU boy: You can’t. A fraternity is only for boys.
NYU girl: Ugh, fine! Then I’ll rush for a maternity and I’ll be cooler than you and your top secret fraternity.
NYU boy: Okay, we’re not friends for ten minutes.
–Starbucks, W 4th
