Young girl #1: The guy hasn’t called me in, like, a week…
Young girl #2: His loss.
Young girl #1: But I didn’t even get to hook up with him!
–86th & 2nd
Overheard by: MattyG
Young girl #1: The guy hasn’t called me in, like, a week…
Young girl #2: His loss.
Young girl #1: But I didn’t even get to hook up with him!
–86th & 2nd
Overheard by: MattyG
Girl #1: Has anyone heard from Megan lately?
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: I mean her away message for three days has been, “Break out the turkey basters and gin buckets!”
Girl #3: I’m sure she’s fine.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Ryan Lynch
Girl: Well, she's newly single so…
Guy with baby: So you know what she's looking for.
Girl: Well, she already hooked up with a bartender in a broom closet.
–6th Ave & 19th St
Overheard by: Daniel
Meathead: I think that’s just so ridiculous that they would expect you to teach these kids when you don’t know the kids at all.
Ditzy girl: Well they had name tags.
–2 train
Asian to another: And it's like, how many ABCs are there at NYU these day?
Girl to friend, once off train: What's an ABC?
Friend: Asian by Choice?
–F Train
Girl: …well it stopped working 'cause it got cum in it.
–W 27th St
Chick: I'm starving. The only protein I've had all day is an accidental cum shot to the face earlier this morning.
–SoHo
Guy to friends: If y'all was to really write it down and make a… a food chain of all of who used to date who, and who's dating who now, I bet you y'all got all the same juices running up in y'all system.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Kosi
Passing guy on cell: All I'm saying is everyone should have control over where their sperm goes.
–7th Ave
Hoochie on cell : Because I manage to get very juicy.
–L Train
Drunk girl at restaurant holding a champagne bottle: Excuse me, sir, can you open this for me? I'm afraid it's going to cum everywhere.
–Kaleidoscope, E 10th St
College dude: I bet there's semen somewhere on this grass.
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Overheard by: Liz
Nine-year-old girl: Mom, that kitten is so cute! Can we get a kitten?
Mother: Honey, I know it's cute, but we have to take care of the two cats we already have.
Nine-year-old girl: No, I know. I mean when they die.
–Veterinarian Waiting Room, Upper East Side
Overheard by: Ben A
Chick: So, Jerry Springer was in my office today, and I overheard him telling the guy he was talking to on the phone that I was attractive.
Queer: Wow. I hate you. In the best way possible. I hate you.
Chick: Why? Because he’s my new boyfriend?
Queer: Because one of the coolest sketchy famous people in the world called you attractive in a remarkably sketchy way. If I ever have to talk you off a self-esteem ledge again, I’m tagging out and killing myself.
–46th & 6th
Overheard by: Gays and their Hags, on the next Springer!
Guy on cell: Happy birthday! (pause) Okay, call me when you're drunk!
–45th St
Girl on cell: Then when I volunteered to give her to him on his birthday.
–Court St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Vincent L.
Crazy guy: I'm turning 65 tomorrow… Stayin' away from hoes…
–St. Mark's & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Guy to friend: I am boycotting your birthday if I can see your butt cheeks in your outfit.
–23rd & 3rd
