Girl #1: He has no idea how good this pussy is.
Girl #2: He’s just taking your pussy for granted. You know what you need?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: A new booty call.
Girl #1: I don’t have time for a new booty call. He just needs to learn how good my pussy is.
–The Riviera ladies’ room, W. 4th Street
Overheard by: Lela Justin
White girl: So, how are you finding Atlanta?
Black girl: There are a lot more black people than I've ever seen.
–Broadway & 56th
Overheard by: marie
Unattractive girl, whining: Baby, don't get the carrot cake.
Unattractive boyfriend: Why not? I like carrot cake. You don't have to eat it.
Unattractive girl: Well, I have no self-control, and I don't want to get fat.
Unattractive boyfriend: Baby, carrot cake is not your problem. Mayonnaise is your problem.
–Westside Market, Upper West Side
Overheard by: They should switch to Miracle Whip
Mom, visibly winded and tired : Why are we walking so much?
30-something daughter: To work up an appetite for dinner.
Mom: Dead people don't eat.
–Christopher & Bleecker
Chick #1: I mean, I guess he thought I was being annoying and stuff — calling him, telling him to come to this fun party, asking him to come downstairs and stuff.
Chick #2: Well, did he ever come downstairs?
Chick #1: Nah, he was fucking some bitch upstairs. But I guess the party was fun… for him.
–E train
Overheard by: City Girl
Man selling candy #1 to very pretty but overweight girl: Hey miss, you wanna buy a candy bar?
Pretty but overweight girl: Do I look like I need any more candy?!
Man selling candy #2: You look good to me!
–Outside JC Penny
Tourist: New York City is the only place in the country that does not have right on red. It doesn't make sense.
Impatient New Yorker chick: Because you'd never get off the sidewalk.
Tourist (in a condescending way): Lady, right on red is for cars. Not for people. (rolls eyes)
–42nd & Broadway
Woman to another: I mean, about the thing… he is ugly but at least he get it up!
–Abingdon Square Park
Man to friend: Ugly people aren't people!
–10th St & 5th Ave
Suit: Yeah, I couldn't deal with the paparazzi. I once saw a picture of Katie Holmes with a pimple, and now I think she's the ugliest person I ever saw.
–Governors Island
Overheard by: Natalie
Girl to guy friend: I cannot believe you volunteered me like that! I'm going to start volunteering you to people… unattractive people. Like Leroy*.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Michael O'Connor
Bus driver on packed bus: Okay, everybody, we need to reorganize the bus. Can all the good-looking people move to the back of the bus, and all the ugly-looking people move to the front? Thank you.
–M86 Bus
Overheard by: Michael
Girl to guy: And I was like, "He bleaches his asshole, what does he know about anatomy?"
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Seven-year-old girl to boy throwing mud at her: Watch it, Jakob! I wore eyeliner today!
–Fort Greene Park, Brooklyn
Very large woman on cell: It's called "Brazilian wax job." You only have to do it like every two weeks. Yep, it itches for a day or two, but it's worth every penny.
–PATH
Overheard by: Corey
Young lady with long curly hair to girlfriend: So, I started drying my hair with paper towels recently.
–Montague St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: E-Man>Master of the UNIVERSE!
Outraged feminine gay guy to another: He's having his lips redone… again!
–8th Ave & 20th St, Chelsea
Overheard by: Evan
Woman on cell: Girl, I don't understand why you gotta put on all that makeup just to go for a colonic!
–Washington Heights
Teen girl #1: Man… I really need some hair gel.
Teen girl #2: This morning, my mom told me I was too fat to go to prom.
–Bathroom, Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: thivnav
