Tourist: New York City is the only place in the country that does not have right on red. It doesn't make sense.
Impatient New Yorker chick: Because you'd never get off the sidewalk.
Tourist (in a condescending way): Lady, right on red is for cars. Not for people. (rolls eyes)
–42nd & Broadway
Woman to another: I mean, about the thing… he is ugly but at least he get it up!
–Abingdon Square Park
Man to friend: Ugly people aren't people!
–10th St & 5th Ave
Suit: Yeah, I couldn't deal with the paparazzi. I once saw a picture of Katie Holmes with a pimple, and now I think she's the ugliest person I ever saw.
–Governors Island
Overheard by: Natalie
Girl to guy friend: I cannot believe you volunteered me like that! I'm going to start volunteering you to people… unattractive people. Like Leroy*.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Michael O'Connor
Bus driver on packed bus: Okay, everybody, we need to reorganize the bus. Can all the good-looking people move to the back of the bus, and all the ugly-looking people move to the front? Thank you.
–M86 Bus
Overheard by: Michael
Girl to guy: And I was like, "He bleaches his asshole, what does he know about anatomy?"
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Seven-year-old girl to boy throwing mud at her: Watch it, Jakob! I wore eyeliner today!
–Fort Greene Park, Brooklyn
Very large woman on cell: It's called "Brazilian wax job." You only have to do it like every two weeks. Yep, it itches for a day or two, but it's worth every penny.
–PATH
Overheard by: Corey
Young lady with long curly hair to girlfriend: So, I started drying my hair with paper towels recently.
–Montague St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: E-Man>Master of the UNIVERSE!
Outraged feminine gay guy to another: He's having his lips redone… again!
–8th Ave & 20th St, Chelsea
Overheard by: Evan
Woman on cell: Girl, I don't understand why you gotta put on all that makeup just to go for a colonic!
–Washington Heights
Teen girl #1: Man… I really need some hair gel.
Teen girl #2: This morning, my mom told me I was too fat to go to prom.
–Bathroom, Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: thivnav
Guy who just managed to squeeze onto the train: There no room here.
Girl trying to get on the train: I didn’t ask for no attitude.
Guy: You’re too fat.
–1 Train
Overheard by: DL
Guy: I think you might want to get a little closer to the curb.
Drunk girl #1: No, you know, I’m okay like this.
Drunk girl #2: Stop, don’t be a bitch, he’s being nice.
Drunk girl #1: Sorry!
Drunk girl #2: Thanks anyway, but we won’t get hit by a car, because it’s simple mathematics. It’s impossible!
–23rd & Park
Girl #1: I think the subway is, like, the Disney Monorail of New York City.
Girl #2: Yeah, but underground… Wow, I never thought of it like that!
–N Train
Overheard by: Lauryn McC.
20-something girl #1: So, how's getting sober and getting your life together going?
20-something girl #2: It's not.
–14th St & 4th Ave
Overheard by: amy
Chick: I have very, very, very, very little free time. In a week I might have 15 hours, and that includes sleep!
–1st Ave & 9th St.
Girl: Edible what?
Guy: Edible panties!
Girl: Hooray!
–45th & 5th
