Girls

Girl #1: I have to pee so bad!
Girl #2: So pee, right here, right now.
Random creep, turning around: I'd pay to see that!

–Avenue M Train Station

Overheard by: gaby

Stupid tourist girl: Where you heading?
Not-so-stupid tourist, pointing to Empire State Building: We're going there.
Stupid tourist girl: What's that?
Not-so-stupid tourist: Seriously? It's the Empire State Building.
Stupid tourist girl: How am I supposed to know? I've never been here before!

–E 14th St

Headline by: thirsy

Runners-Up:
· “Hey! There’s a Giant Drag Queen in the Harbor!” – Nick Pollotta
· “Now Tell Me About the Big Shiny Blue Thing in the East” – Nick Pollotta
· “That’s What You Said When We Went to the Bathroom” – BabakganoosH
· “Why Are All These Cars Yellow?” – pbump
· “Yet She Expects Me to Find the Clitoris” – joe
· “You Mean Earth, Right?” – aliensareamongus

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Daughter, looking at “NJ Transit” sign: Why does it say we’re in New Jersey?!
Mother: Aren’t we?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Jay

20-something girl #1: I need to go on a diet.
20-something girl #2: Why? You look fine.
20-something girl #1: Because that tranny over there has a dick and looks better in a dress than I do.

–Manhattan Ave & 110th St

Guy: So he finally got the guy away from the mark.
Girl: Wait, who’s the mark?
Guy: The new guy she’s fucking.

–14th & 8th

Girl #1: I’m lucky that my parents are helping out with the rent. Otherwise I’d be, like, eating rice.
Girl #2: Hey, that’s what I eat! You should practice a little Asian sensitivity.
Girl #1, minutes later: It’s not like you just sit around all day eating rice. You’re the one being rice-ist!

–875 3rd Ave

Teenager: Dude, my sister is always stealing her friends’ books, but like, sometimes no one has the book she wants, how much easier would it be if there was like, a Blockbuster, but for books.

–Blockbuster

Girlfriend to boyfriend: Did you bring something to read on the train? I’m trying to decide if I want to talk to you, sleep, or read my book.

–A Train

Overheard by: The Green Cat

Teenage girl: I need Romeo and Juliet. But do you have any with, like, the English on one side and Shakespeare on the other?

–Barnes & Noble, Union Square

Spoiled colleg girl to friend: My mom really wants me to get a nice big tote because she’s really worried about how I’m going to carry all my books. But I’m, like, worried if I’m even going to read my books.

–Outside Bloomingdale’s Dressing Room

Chick: So they called him up on stage, and they were like: "We want to bestow this honor upon you." And he was like: "It is indeed an honor, an honor indeed." And I’m all like: "Come on, like, I mean, seriously, like, who talks like that? Can’t you take it down a notch! Don’t you read US Weekly or anything?

–Starbucks, Woolworth Building

NYU girl to male friend: There’s almost something poetic about it, you know? Like, the 20-year-old Catholic virgin from Connecticut losing it to the older Ecuadorian lothario? Hell, I should just write a book about my life.

–NYU Dining Hall

Chick: Oh my God, you guys, I bought drugs from him!

–Ave A

NYU girl #1: You promised!
NYU girl #1: That doesn’t count! I was drunk.
NYU girl #1: You’re always drunk. It counts.

–W 4th & University Pl

Overheard by: jess

Bag lady, pointing at three white girls: Eeeny, meeny, miney…changeeee?
White girl: Shit! If I knew she was gonna do that I would have had a dollar all ready to give to her!

–40th & 5th

Overheard by: Kate