Girls

Teenager: Dude, my sister is always stealing her friends’ books, but like, sometimes no one has the book she wants, how much easier would it be if there was like, a Blockbuster, but for books.

–Blockbuster

Girlfriend to boyfriend: Did you bring something to read on the train? I’m trying to decide if I want to talk to you, sleep, or read my book.

–A Train

Overheard by: The Green Cat

Teenage girl: I need Romeo and Juliet. But do you have any with, like, the English on one side and Shakespeare on the other?

–Barnes & Noble, Union Square

Spoiled colleg girl to friend: My mom really wants me to get a nice big tote because she’s really worried about how I’m going to carry all my books. But I’m, like, worried if I’m even going to read my books.

–Outside Bloomingdale’s Dressing Room

Chick: So they called him up on stage, and they were like: "We want to bestow this honor upon you." And he was like: "It is indeed an honor, an honor indeed." And I’m all like: "Come on, like, I mean, seriously, like, who talks like that? Can’t you take it down a notch! Don’t you read US Weekly or anything?

–Starbucks, Woolworth Building

NYU girl to male friend: There’s almost something poetic about it, you know? Like, the 20-year-old Catholic virgin from Connecticut losing it to the older Ecuadorian lothario? Hell, I should just write a book about my life.

–NYU Dining Hall

Chick: Oh my God, you guys, I bought drugs from him!

–Ave A

NYU girl #1: You promised!
NYU girl #1: That doesn’t count! I was drunk.
NYU girl #1: You’re always drunk. It counts.

–W 4th & University Pl

Overheard by: jess

Bag lady, pointing at three white girls: Eeeny, meeny, miney…changeeee?
White girl: Shit! If I knew she was gonna do that I would have had a dollar all ready to give to her!

–40th & 5th

Overheard by: Kate

Girl #1: He has no idea how good this pussy is.
Girl #2: He’s just taking your pussy for granted. You know what you need?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: A new booty call.
Girl #1: I don’t have time for a new booty call. He just needs to learn how good my pussy is.

–The Riviera ladies’ room, W. 4th Street

Overheard by: Lela Justin

White girl: So, how are you finding Atlanta?
Black girl: There are a lot more black people than I've ever seen.

–Broadway & 56th

Overheard by: marie

Unattractive girl, whining: Baby, don't get the carrot cake.
Unattractive boyfriend: Why not? I like carrot cake. You don't have to eat it.
Unattractive girl: Well, I have no self-control, and I don't want to get fat.
Unattractive boyfriend: Baby, carrot cake is not your problem. Mayonnaise is your problem.

–Westside Market, Upper West Side

Overheard by: They should switch to Miracle Whip

Mom, visibly winded and tired : Why are we walking so much?
30-something daughter: To work up an appetite for dinner.
Mom: Dead people don't eat.

–Christopher & Bleecker

Chick #1: I mean, I guess he thought I was being annoying and stuff — calling him, telling him to come to this fun party, asking him to come downstairs and stuff.
Chick #2: Well, did he ever come downstairs?
Chick #1: Nah, he was fucking some bitch upstairs. But I guess the party was fun… for him.

–E train

Overheard by: City Girl

Man selling candy #1 to very pretty but overweight girl: Hey miss, you wanna buy a candy bar?
Pretty but overweight girl: Do I look like I need any more candy?!
Man selling candy #2: You look good to me!

–Outside JC Penny