Wednesday One-Liners Watch Oz

Woman to friend: It just wasn’t what they imagined when they dreamed of going to jail.

–5th Ave, Park Slope

Overheard by: MK

LA bimbette to another: I think, like, everyone I know has been arrested. I mean, like, who hasn’t been charged with a drunk and disorderly at least once?

–R train

Chick to friend: Yeah, he got a lot of gold chains, but that’s an investment… That’s bail.

–Bus, Port Authority

Guy leaving subway: Hey, baby, I’m home! One more day and I’m not in jail!

–Subway entrance, 125th St

Overheard by: Leaving Harlem

Teen thug: Man, I never had to spend Valentine’s Day with my mom… If her boyfriend wasn’t in jail she wouldn’t be bothering me.

–Eastern Pkwy Library

Chick to boyfriend: So, that’s what you learned in prison?

–Central Park

Posted on March 14, 2007
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Central Park, Crime and Punishment, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Park Slope, Port Authority, Sex, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Wednesday One-Liners by Victoria

Puerto Rican girl to another: I never dated a white guy, ’cause they got bad taste in underwear.

–Subway station, Times Square

Overheard by: Mama

Chick: … So I was dancing in the kitchen in my underwear and I looked out the window and the orthodox Yeshiva student guy that lives across the building from me was just staring open-mouthed. I’m never gonna open the curtains in the kitchen again.

–181st St

Overheard by: LSB

Mother to toddler son: Now, honey, close your eyes. This isn’t for you.

–Frederick’s of Hollywood, King’s Plaza

Queer: I totally go out of my way to wear edible thongs to work.

–Library Bar, Houston & Ave A

Overheard by: Rachel W.

Teen girl quickly descending staircase: I didn’t wear a bra again today. My boobs are bouncing down these stairs!

–Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island

Suit on cell: Well, I mean, I have thongs… But I really don’t consider those underwear…

–W 4th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Laura

Posted on March 14, 2007
All Wednesday One-Liners, Clothing, Girls, Guys, Kids, Kink, Moms, Nudity, Office politics, Puerto Ricans, Rack, Suits, Teens, Wednesday One-Liners

I Wanted the Doctor to Like Me

20-ish guy: Your glasses can’t be bad, you just got them!
20-ish girl: Yeah, but I cheated on the eye exam, so it’s really my own fault…
20-ish guy: … That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.
20-ish girl: I can’t help it, I’m very competitive!

–Kim’s Video, St. Mark’s Pl

Posted on March 13, 2007
Girls, Health and Hygiene, Idiots, Lies, Store, Stupidity, Talking/Convos

The Diet Kind

Chick: … And I’ve been so tired.
Dude: Maybe you should eat more.
Chick: Well, I have been drinking water.

–Post office, 52nd St

Overheard by: what what

Posted on March 12, 2007
Advice, Anorexic, Diet/Weight, Drinks, Food, Girls, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen

Situational Ethics

Girl #1: Hey, your tag is still on your sweatshirt.
Girl #2: I know. I’m thinking about returning it.
Girl #3, a minute later: Hey, your tag is still on your sweatshirt.
Girl #2: I know! I’m hip hop.

–Williamsburg

Posted on March 11, 2007
Clothing, Girls, Thievery, Williamsburg

The Old Jack-in-the-Box Joke

Girl #1: So she was, like, cracking up, and we had no idea why–
Girl #2: —So I spread my legs!
Girl #1: Then we all got it [laughs].

–NYU

Posted on March 10, 2007
Girls, NYU, Sexuality

He Calls It ‘Insemidating’

College girl: I wish you had been there — everyone was so crazy.
College guy: Yeah, I wish I’d been there so I coulda impregnated you.

–13th & University Pl

Overheard by: Abby

Posted on March 9, 2007
Girls, Guys, Sex, The Village, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Yeaaahhh College!

Travis Learns He’s Not Attractive Enough to Talk to Beautiful Strangers

Preppy guy waiting for walk signal: Hi there.
Hot girl: Um, do I know you?
Preppy guy: No, I was just being friendly…
Hot girl: Oh, yeah? Well then why don’t you say hi to her, too? [Points to fat chick nearby.]Preppy guy, to himself: God, I hate New Yorkers…

–Central Park

Overheard by: well I LOVE New Yorkers