Guys

Girl #1: He used to hang out at Bungalow 8 and do coke with Joaquin Phoenix all the time.
Guy #1: That’s so cool!
Girl #2: How can Joaquin Phoenix do coke? He’s a vegan!
Girl #1: Vegans can’t do coke?
Girl #2: Well, being vegan is supposedly to be all…conscious and stuff.
Guy #2: Does he think they make coke with meat?

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: ~dana

Guy: So the project is extended to next Thursday?
Guy's friend: Yup.
Guy, super happy: Yes! Can I go hump a Buffulo?

–American Eagle Outfitters

Ghetto girl: There is no I in ‘team.’
Ghetto boy: There is also no I in ‘gangbang.’

–Astoria

Overheard by: Erik

Guy: So I was talking to my grandfather last night.
Girl: The one who survived Auschwitz?
Guy: No, the one who died there.

–A train

Overheard by: Greg Pierce

Guy: Do you know what time it is?
Girl: No, I forgot my watch. But it doesn't matter, I don't really know how to tell time anyway.

–Fordham University, Rose Hill Campus

Girl: When I found out he was all about sex, the crush was all over.
Dude: Oh, come on. I’m sure he’s more mature now.
Girl: Why are you trying to pawn me off on all these guys? I mean, come on, sex is not cool.
Dude: Why are we friends?

–Cafe Esperanto

Guy: So, you don't worship Satan?
Girl: I don't believe in Satan.
Guy: So, you're an atheist?

–7 Train

Overheard by: Starisla

Guy, standing with two women: So of course, now every woman that comes my way is from… (nods, waits for women to finish his sentence)
Women: Newfoundland!
Guy: Right!

–Union Square Park

Overheard by: not a newf

Girl: So I went over to their place and it was a bunch of super-flowery lesbians watching high school musical.
Guy: That sounds interesting.
Girl: Yeah, then they made me pork and beans, which was nice.

–M15 Bus

Chica on cell: He was just white. Like, a white guy. Except Puerto Rican.

–Park Terrace West, Inwood

Overheard by: Gringo Starr

Puerto Rican thug to another, both wearing Puerto Rican flag bandanas as face masks: White people better get used to us. There be like 80 billion of us in the world… Or maybe 8 thousand of us…at least.

–F Train

Overheard by: Brent

Teen on cell: Wait, you're in Puerto Rico? I'll be right there, that's by Chinatown, right? What do you mean it's an island? Like Staten Island? How the fuck did you get there?

–Colombus Circle

Overheard by: Graham Davis

JAP on phone: He called me a clingy JAP! How fucking low! I could've easily pulled the "you're-a-Puerto-Rican-from-Staten-Island" card.

–92nd & 5th

Guy (shouting): Hey guys! You like Puerto Ricans?!

–Times Square

Overheard by: CytoFox

Dad on scooter with eight-year-old girl: I don't want to hear that… Don't fuckin' push me, Joanna! You are not black, you are Puerto Rican!

–Flatbush & Fulton

Overheard by: Chelsea