Guy #1: Yo, it’s hot, son!
Guy #2: Yeah, like two dicks rubbin’ together.
–Q6 bus
Overheard by: Who knows what that feels like?
Guy #1: Yo, it’s hot, son!
Guy #2: Yeah, like two dicks rubbin’ together.
–Q6 bus
Overheard by: Who knows what that feels like?
Guy #1: You can’t allow her to keep doing that to you, man.
Guy #2: Yeah, you’re right… Sometimes I wish I was gay.
Guy #1, after both guys laugh: …Uh… You were kidding, right?
–Men’s locker room, New York Sports Club, Tribeca
Overheard by: Matt
Dude: No way!
Friend: Why? You never peed at a firehouse?
–W 19th & 7th
Dude #1: We need more females for spring break… Who else can we invite? Nicole?
Dude #2: But then Joe will have to come, and I don’t care for him.
Dude #1: Julie says he’s changed since high school, though. Like, matured.
Dude #2: Hmmm, interesting.
Dude #1: Yeah, food for thought… Or for starving children in Somalia.
–St. John’s University
Overheard by: Peter G.
Dude: So, did you ever wear a condom in Haiti?
World traveler guy: No.
Dude: Were you scared?
–St. Mark’s & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Not Going to Haiti
Guy: Oh, man, my wrist hurts! I think I got carpal tunnel.
Friend: How?
Guy: I was fingering that bitch all night.
Friend: Oh.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Lucy and Emily
Guy #1: Oh, he’s gay. You didn’t know that?
Guy #2: Gayness makes me dizzy.
–54th & Madison
Overheard by: DZ
Guy #1: I’ve been playing the guitar for years.
Guy #2: You play guitar like Bette Midler has sex.
Guy #1: Fuck you.
–86th & Lex platform
Overheard by: Mikey P.
Guy: I’m exhausted as fuck.
Chick: Good for you.
Guy: Shut up, you twunt.
Chick: Did you just try to combine ‘twat’ and ‘cunt’?
Guy: Some of my friends created it.
Chick: No wonder it’s retarded. It completely takes away from both insults, which are perfectly functional and to the point by themselves.
Guy: You’re such a little bitch.
–181st & Ft. Washington
Overheard by: LSB
Dude #1: Last night Sheryl told me my balls smelled like Ramen.
Dude #2: Oh, really? Like the noodles?
Dude #1: Yeah… She gave me head anyway, though.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Rez
