Guy: No shit. You’re a psychic? Uh… make a prediction or something.
Psychic: It’s going to rain tomorrow.
Guy: Wow. So you’re the real deal, huh? Weather straight from the source.
Psychic: Well, that, and I check weather dot com.
–R train
Guy: No shit. You’re a psychic? Uh… make a prediction or something.
Psychic: It’s going to rain tomorrow.
Guy: Wow. So you’re the real deal, huh? Weather straight from the source.
Psychic: Well, that, and I check weather dot com.
–R train
Guy about movie being shot on street: I bet it’s a shitty movie.
Set assistant girl: I’m sorry for the inconvenience, sir.
Guy: You’re a pain in the ass. How could you work for a company like that?
Set assistant girl: I’m sorry, sir.
Guy: You come in barging into our city…
Set assistant girl: The mayor gives the permits, sir.
Guy: Yeah, well, it’s a shitty movie.
Set assistant girl: Shut! Up!
–9th St & 5th Ave
Guy #1: Is this the place?
Guy #2: Yeah, man. Does the pope shit in the woods?
Guy #1: No, dude. He doesn’t.
–7th St & Ave A
Guy: So, for New Year’s…
Bimbette: Yeah, well, I don’t want to do any of that Times Square stuff — it’s really scary there. All those terrorists…
–Joe’s Shanghai, Chinatown
Overheard by: soup dumpling
Dude #1: Yo, I really gotta stop whackin’ off.
Dude #2: Nah, chill. I do it all the time, man.
Dude #1: Like, at home?
Dude #2: Nah, in the school bathroom.
–Union Square
Chick pointing to friend wearing Nike Air Force Ones: Girl, I can’t believe you had rough sex in those shoes!
Guy passerby: That shit’s disgusting! That girl’s disgusting!
–42nd & Broadway
Guy in BYU tee: Let’s just face it — no one we meet here will be normal.
BYU girl: Yeah, you’re so right.
–Washington Square Park
Dude #1: This one girl I hooked up with once made me choke her and shit when we fucked. She wanted to struggle, and I had to pry her legs open and hold her down. And she cried afterward.
Dude #2, laughing: Dude… Are you sure you weren’t raping this girl?
Dude #1, laughing: Man, fuck you. [Abruptly stops laughing, pales] … Fuck, man…
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jane
Midlife crisis #1: So, she met this really nice guy at a UFO convention.
Midlife crisis #2: Oh, really?
Midlife crisis #1: Yeah. He claimed he was abducted by Artylians.
Midlife crisis #2: Oh! That helps.
–Waiting area, NY Penn
Guy: I can’t believe they used an Indian family for that commercial. For the love of God, their last name was Kumar-swami!
Queer: What kind of name is that? They definitely should have used a white family.
Guy: It was a Verizon commercial, for Christ’s sake. If you want to get racy, use a black family. But Kumar-swami — that is just too much!
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
