Guy #1: Ever notice you can’t fart on these subway seats?
Guy #2: I think it’s the angle; I’ve had that problem before.
–4 train
Overheard by: Mike
Guy #1: Ever notice you can’t fart on these subway seats?
Guy #2: I think it’s the angle; I’ve had that problem before.
–4 train
Overheard by: Mike
Guy: That the fucking bitch that called the cops on me! That fucking bitch called the cops! You! White trash! White trash! White trash!
Chick: I always knew you were a bigot.
–St. George, SI
Hipster guy: Well, Hitler was right, there is a lot of parking in New York.
–54th & 10th
Guy #1: Is she blind or something?
Guy #2: No, she’s Christian.
Guy #1: Oh…Same thing I guess.
–11th & B
Guy: Imagine living in the Midwest where there is no happiness.
–Metro-North train
Guy: Yeah, that’s the first thing I learned when I moved here: don’t eat street meat, it’s probably pigeon or something.
Girl #1: Yeah, I wish I could get my husband to stop eating it.
Girl #2: I don’t care what kind of meat it is as long as it’s in my mouth.
Girl #1: That’s my sister; she’s looking for a hook-up.
Girl #2: No, I’m not!
Guy: I’m married.
–Irving Plaza, Irving Place
Overheard by: Johnny Tremain
Dude: Do you guys sell bling?
Store guy: All the way in the back, under the skeleton pimp.
–Halloween Adventure, 4th Avenue
Overheard by: Hank Luxford
Guy: They had to cut off my favorite jeans, and my Mike Tyson’s Punch Out!! hoodie. I was pissed, man. I made that thing myself. I put the pixelated blood on it and everything. I would have said
something, but you know, I was kind of unconscious.
–Canal Street 6 station
Overheard by: Caitlyn Howell
Guy: I don’t know what they put in their food, but I took one dump, and then I had to take another!
–Downtown Brooklyn
Overheard by: Vic Payback
Queer: But wait, is English a race?
Guy passerby: Holy shit, that’s going on Overheard tomorrow.
–Bleecker & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Guy passerby #2
