Guy #1: The menu is on the board.
Guy #2: What’s the sea red dumpling?
Guy #1: Sea red? What are you talking about?
Guy #2: Right there, monster…sea red.
–Dumpling Man, St. Marks Place
Overheard by: Rathan Haran
Guy #1: I love Puerto Rico!
Guy #2: Oh, please! Puerto Rico is just like the Bronx, but it has palm trees.
–Chelsea
Overheard by: D
Preppy girl: So, like, Salman Rushdie had to move to America because that guy issued this fatwa thing against him.
Hipster guy: You mean the Ayatollah?
Preppy girl: I think it’s pronounced “aya-toy-a.”
Hipster guy: Ummm…Yeah, if he were Spanish!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: not an Ivy-Leaguer
20-something guy, holding long wooden board: Hey, can you spare some change for me and my wood to get a hooker?
Blonde party girl passing by, rubbing wood in sexual way: Oh, I like your wood…
20-something guy: Oh, thank you. (to girl sitting next to him) You'd think someone would give me money just for making them laugh, but no.
–St. Mark's b/w 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: TR
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay. There is a problem with a signal and there are trains in front of us. The good news is, there's a bar car!
–Metro North
Overheard by: Anna
Obese lady buying pork chops to obese friend: I be cutting down on on soda.
–Troy Ave & Park Place
Exasperated woman: And he was drinking Jack Daniels before he even got to my place…
–3rd & 6th
Overheard by: j
Female suit on cell: Well, what do you expect? It was green Gatorade and grain alcohol!
–Broadway & 54th St
Overheard by: Loren
Bag lady to another: Listen, Alice, if you don't want to lose your leg, you gotta drink water, they'll take your legs otherwise.
–42nd St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Robin
Frantic woman on cell: Oh my god! There is no soy milk anywhere in this city! (sprints out of Starbucks)
–Starbucks, Times Square
Overheard by: ellie
Tough guy outside bar with friends: So I like apple juice. What the fuck?
–East Village
Guy #1: That girl’s not too bad looking. How old, you think? Married, possibly?
Guy #2: She looks 26 and pissed off.
Guy #1: So she must be married.
Guy #2: With kids.
–Madison Ave
Dude with a crutch: Can I get something to eat?
Lady: You need a seat?
Dude: I don’t need a seat! I need something to eat!!!
–1 train
Overheard by: Marcus
Weird girl: Did you bring the scepter?
Weird boy: No, I forgot.
Weird girl: That’s the second time!
Weird boy: I know, I’m sorry! I got the Tetris theme song stuck in my head again!
–D train
Overheard by: Kaela
Lady: Excuse me, do you sell phone cards to Africa?
Cashier: Let me check. (looks around)
Guy at the beer cooler: Man, they ain't got no phones in Africa!
–Convienance Store, 45th & 8th
Overheard by: Joe
Teenage girl: Ohmigod. Doesn't she know that the "having big boobs" thing is, like, not in anymore?
–86th St
Overheard by: Kevin
Girl to another: It splashed on my boob… Then he slurped it off!
–Charles & 4th
Overheard by: Eric
20-something guy, singing: I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna find my motherfucking sock, 'cause I don't know where it is. I wanna touch some boobs…
–Pratt Institute
Angry hobo to college chick with big boobs zipping up her jacket: Don't put them titties away!
–5th & 21st
Elderly woman to husband: I keep my business in my bosom!
–Carnegie Deli
