Health and Hygiene

Young pretty brunette: I think that I'm anemic, I bruise so easily.
Young ditzy blonde: Oh my god! You, like, starve yourself?
Young pretty brunette: I literally felt myself get dumber after you said that. I don't understand why I associate myself with morons.

–Starbucks, 51st & Broadway

Man: Do you have bathing suits?
Salesgirl: No… But we have swimming trunks.
Man, sarcastically: Why not? I'll try those.

–6th & 23rd

Girl, giving food to hobo: Hey, do you want this?
Hobo: Yeah, thanks! Wait, does it have shellfish in it?

–16th St & 3rd Ave

Young gay man: These two girls I live with don't shower.
Older gay man: Ugh! That's so Bushwick.

–Starbucks, Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Natty

Club boy #1: So you must tell me: how was posh last night?
Club boy #2: Oh, I don't know. I'm not really sure what happened, but at some point someone, um, bit my nipple and ever since, it just, um, hasn't been the same.

–53rd & 9th

Overheard by: Andrew L

Wife: If you're brain dead–I'm sorry, but I'm having them pull the plug!
Husband: (blank look)
Wife: You'd want that, right?

–Near Penn Station

Overheard by: LK

Skinny hipster gay boy #1: If I get too drunk I just stick my finger down my throat and force myself to vomit.
Skinny hipster gay boy #2: Yeah, I would do that… But at this point I have absolutely no gag reflex anymore.

–Chelsea

Overheard by: Justin

Girl #1: What kind of insurance do you have?
Girl #2: Well, Medicaid, but it just got cut off.
Girl #1: What? They tried that shit with me. But I called everyday until they reinstated that shit. Sometimes you just gotta act black. No offense, I can say that because I'm Puerto Rican.
Girl #2: (nods)

–Doctor's Office, Jackson Heights

Bulimic girl #1: I heard of this cleansing diet with lemonade and cayenne pepper.
Bulimic girl #2: Yeah, it gets rid of all the shit in your body.

–Sushi Restaurant

Smoker, taking drag from cigarette: Yeah, cause, ya know, smoking is really unhealthy.
Smoking friend: Yeah, totally…

–Outside Marriot Marquis

Overheard by: Non-Smoker