Hipster girl #1: I better watch out — after the weight I lost, my mom is thinking I’m anorexic or something. I should start eating more.
Hipster girl #2: Yeah, or lay off the coke.
Hipster girl #1: Or that.
–Times Square
Hipster girl #1: I better watch out — after the weight I lost, my mom is thinking I’m anorexic or something. I should start eating more.
Hipster girl #2: Yeah, or lay off the coke.
Hipster girl #1: Or that.
–Times Square
Homeless guy: I got a sore on my left foot! Look at it! That’s what comes from being in America!
–Beth Israel Emergency Room, 18th & 1st
Doorman: So I looked her straight in the face and I said, ‘Listen, you’re in America now.’
–Mandarin Oriental Hotel, Columbus Circle
Yasser Arafat look-alike: If she’s naked, don’t go in there; I know how these goddamn American girls are.
–Bedford St & W 4th
Overheard by: Birthday Boy
Woman in exaggerated Latin accent: Run, run, American people! Run before you miss the train!
–Uptown 6 train, Wall St station
Overheard by: gay among hardhats
Guy: It’s an old American name, like in the Bible.
–A train arriving at 59th St
Overheard by: IanM
Park Avenue woman, upset because cashier didn’t have quarters: I have every right to be nasty! I’m an American! I’m a fucking New Yorker!
–23rd & Park
Spanish hipster tourist: Americans are the worst!
–Apple store, 5th Ave
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Hipster #1: You should spring that question on him one night and see what he says. I bet he’d be like, ‘What the fuck? Are you kidding me?’
Hipster #2: You mean ask him to stick his thing in my butt? Would he be down?
Hipster #1: I don’t think so. One time I was like, ‘Man, I need to fuck some girl in the ass pronto-tonto!’ He was like, ‘Dude, that’s gross!’
Hipster #2: I thought most dudes wanted to do that.
Hipster #1: Well, that was a while ago. He has been living in Thailand and those lady-boys have got to be pretty convincing.
Hipster #2: I’m sure.
Hipster #1: He could be ‘warmed-up’ to the occasion. Just get him shit-faced off his rocker.
Hipster #2: I don’t want to stick anything up my butt unless someone really wants it badly, and I certainly don’t want it to be messy — that shit can hurt if it’s not inserted properly.
–In front of Gagosian Gallery, Chelsea
Overheard by: Chelius
Hipster #1: He was just ghetto. I walked in and there were Mountain Dew bottles on every surface. Ghetto.
Hipster #2: Mountain Dew is ghetto?
–Grammercy Park
Hipster girl: Would you say my hair is dirty-blonde or not?
Hipster guy: It looks clean to me.
Hipster girl: I didn’t mean the hair on my head.
–Spring & Broadway
Overheard by: Brown Carpet and Drapes
Hipster chick: I’d like to get my eyebrows done.
Korean woman: You have boyfriend?
Hipster chick: Uh… no.
Woman: No wonder. You have hairy upper lip.
Hipster chick: Okay…
Woman: No worry — we clean up — you have many boyfriend.
–Beauty parlor on W 8th St
Overheard by: I just came in for a pedicure
Gaggle of black girls shriek on street.
Hipster girl #1: Ew, what happened?
Hipster girl #2: Slavery was abolished.
–Houston & Orchard
Hipster chick: Do you think New Yorkers are mean, or are we just so jaded we’re not fazed by anything?
Hipster dude: I think it’s a combination of both.
Hipster chick: Because, well, my friend just found out he has testicular cancer, and he’s getting one of his balls removed on his birthday. And I thought that was hilarious. You know what else? Maybe New Yorkers are also whores — I seriously considered sleeping with him just so I could say I was the last person to see his left ball.
Hipster dude: That’s a bit soulless. But it’s also a little funny.
Hipster chick: See, really, if you think about it in the right way, everything is funny.
Hobo: You’re just a mean whore.
–Bedford & 6th St
Overheard by: Overheard in New York is based on that very concept
Hipster girl: Oh my god! You’re Catholic? I’m Catholic, too!
Guy: Really?
Hipster girl: Yeah! Well, not really.
Guy: So you just say you’re Catholic, just in case? Do you believe in everything, just in case?
Hipster girl: No! Well, I guess so. I’m also Jewish.
–20th St & Park
Overheard by: vic
Hipster guy #1: And then there was a huge dick.
Hipster guy #2: A dick?
Hipster guy #1: Yeah, and it was ejaculating a swastica all over the concrete.
Hipster guy #3: What a fucked up dream.
–3rd Ave & 9th St
Overheard by: Lloy-Duh
