Hipster guy: So she said in a few years, she would be ready for children.
Hipster girl: So what did you say to her?
Hipster guy: I told her in a few years, I would be ready for a puppy, or a houseplant. Or maybe a mountain bike.
Hipster girl: That was the wrong answer.
–Astoria bound N train
Overheard by: sillysocialworker
Hipster girl: Look, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you have to dress like a fifth grader.
–Union Pool, Brooklyn
Vain fag, looking at pants: I really love these shorts, I hope they’re *in* this summer…
–LIRR
Guy wearing bright green leather clogs: No, I’d never wear crocs. They’re ugly.
–Forest Hills Gardens, Queens
Overheard by: Aloof Loner
Goth girl: Let’s buy fur coats and throw paint on ourselves.
–Bloomingdale’s
Disembodied voice: Yo, these are mom jeans. I hate that shit! The waist goes all the way up to your stomach and then it makes a little V-neck pouch for your vagina. I hate that shit!
–Fitting Rooms, Gap in Herald Square
Overheard by: Zarya
[Waiting in line for the washroom.]Lady, bawling her eyes out: Sorry, I ordered this jacket, and it’s two sizes too big!
–Macy’s
Overheard by: Tracy
Hipster girl: Gosh, I’m like Pavlov’s dog!
Guy: What the hell is that?
Hipster girl: You don’t know? They teach it in, like, every science class ever!
Guy: So, what is it?
Hipster girl: It has something to do with bells and drool, I’m not really sure.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Tres Chic
Hipster girl: You know, you really should try reading something with more substance… Like War and Peace.
Queer, flipping through fashion mag: ‘Warm Piece’? Is that, like, porn?
Hipster girl: I said, War. And. Peace.
Queer: Okay, I’m not reading any magazine I’ve never even heard of.
–F train
Overheard by: Kathy Iandoli
Hipster girl: I haven’t seen any of your Facebook pictures, and I’ve been your friend for like a year!
Hipster boy: Really? You should.
Hipster girl: I’m checking them right now.
Hipster boy: Let me warn you, though — there are a lot of pictures of my penis on there.
Hipster girl: Oh, I’m used to that.
–Apple Store, 5th Ave
Female hipster #1: Oh my god, I love your haircut!
Female hipster #2: Thanks…I asked for a mix of Suri Cruise, Anna Wintour and Nicole Richie circa 2005.
–27th St & 7th St
Hipster, walking to registers with an armload of toothpaste: Who wants me?
Cashiers: (stare blankly, not moving)
Hipster: What, no one wants me? Ah, damn. That's sad.
–Duane Reade
Hipster guy: So, I just don't have room.
Smartass girl: You have room for me in your bed.
Hipster guy, after long pause: Ummm, maybe.
–St. Mark's & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Yours Truly
Hipster #1: Narwhals don't bite–you're impaled.
Hipster #2: So they must have discovered narwhals before unicorns.
–Wasabi, Manhattan Ave & Bedford Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Laura
Hipster chick: What are you listening to?
Friend: Sarah McLachlan. Are you mad? Sometimes I listen to Jewel too.
–4 Train
