Hipster #1: Narwhals don't bite–you're impaled.
Hipster #2: So they must have discovered narwhals before unicorns.
–Wasabi, Manhattan Ave & Bedford Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Laura
Hipster #1: Narwhals don't bite–you're impaled.
Hipster #2: So they must have discovered narwhals before unicorns.
–Wasabi, Manhattan Ave & Bedford Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Laura
Hipster chick: What are you listening to?
Friend: Sarah McLachlan. Are you mad? Sometimes I listen to Jewel too.
–4 Train
Hipster girl: Hi, how are you?
Dressy-casual guy: Hi, you look great!
Hipster girl: Thanks. You look like you’re from Oklahoma.
–Makor/Steinhart Center, W 67th St
Overheard by: Alex
Hipster guy: I don’t like him. He’s a douchebag.
Hipster girl: I said he was a nice guy. I didn’t say he wasn’t a douchebag.
–M1 bus
Overheard by: Kinda Nice Guy
Hermit-looking man at bakery counter: Euhh… Yes, I want cake. One will say “Kenny's dead.” No! Wait! One will say “I killed Kenny, and I'm not sorry!” And the other will say… it will say, “Obama is my homeboy!”
20-something hipster girl, staring at man: Are you… for real?
Hermit-looking man: Yes, sweetie.
20-something hipster girl: You… you win at life, sir.
–167th & Broadway
Skinny white guy: I’m like, really excited for that Israel parade. Like, I think it will be a really nice experience for me.
Jewish girl: Mmhmm.
Skinny white guy: No, I’m serious. I love Jews. And like, I’m not just saying it to get into your pants.
–Penn Station
Hipster #1: I can’t believe you went home with that fat NYU chick last night.
Hipster #2: Yeah, I was out-of-my-mind drunk. But I totally vindicated myself immediately after.
Hipster #1: Yeah?
Hipster #2: We must have woken up her hot blond suitemate when she screamed out “Oh my God, fuck me with your giant cock!”
Hipster #1: And how do you know?
Hipster #2: Because afterward, she passed out, and I went out to her living room to have a smoke, and her roommate came out in her PJs to join me for a smoke. Then I banged her on the couch.
Hipster #1: That’s awesome.
Hipster #2: Yeah. The funniest part was, I snuck back into her room when she was passed out and stole some condoms from her drawer.
Hipster #1: You’re a horrible person.
Hipster #2: I know.
–L train
Overheard by: Slappy McGee
Hipster dude: Do you guys carry any men’s shoes?
Salesgirl: Yes, they’re on the wall behind you.
Hipster dude: Do you have any straight guy shoes?
–Barney’s, Madison Avenue
Hipster girl: I’d rather face the stigma of buying feminine hygiene products than face the stigma of having a stinky hoo-ha.
–13th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: agreed
Girl: Remember Diana? Stinky Diana? She’s back, and she’s getting married.
–West 47th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Peter G
Chick: If I’m going to play beer pong, I need to be fragrant.
–Sammy’s, 11th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: McF
Little boy to dad: I don’t want to go to Africa! I don’t want to smell the camels!
–5th Ave & Park Pl, Park Slope
Voice on intercom: The Children’s Section is closed due to… that smell.
–NY Public Library, East 96th St
Overheard by: Diane
Chick: So, did you smell your toilet paper?
–MoMA cafe
Overheard by: Sweettart
Hipster girl: On the train into the city this morning, I sat on a baby and almost crushed it.
Metal guy: There is no internet acronym for how funny that is.
–Union Square
Overheard by: esther
