Six-year-old kid to lost-looking mother: So, where's downtown?
Mom: Well, it's not uptown!
–42nd Street Subway Station
Overheard by: Excellent deduction, Watson.
Six-year-old kid to lost-looking mother: So, where's downtown?
Mom: Well, it's not uptown!
–42nd Street Subway Station
Overheard by: Excellent deduction, Watson.
Lady cop: Did you hear about that handyman in the Long Island school who was videotaping the little girls?
Cop guy #1: Yeah, he’s a sick fuck!
Cop guy #2: Yeah, sick fuck! They’re little girls, it’s not like you can see anything good!
–108th Precinct, Sunnyside
Mom: You wanna play with my iPod? I put your favorite Bieber songs on there.
Three-year-old: He not my favorite anymore.
Mom: He's not? How come?
Three-year-old: Mommy, he's just a white boy from Canada.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: not a belieber
Harassed mother to four-year-old: Max, can we pleeaase just take a cab, it's too cold to wait for a bus!
Four-year-old: No! Cabs make me feel sick!
–Union Square
Overheard by: cherrypips
Guy #1: Wow, I can't believe we're at the Macy's parade, I used to watch this on tv as a kid.
Guy #2: I used to watch this on tv in jail.
–34th St
Overheard by: Heibi
Daughter: Mom, is beef steak?
Mother: No, steak is steak.
–Mexican restaurant, Floral Park
Kid on subway: Mom! That is a mad big window!
Mom: Honey, that's not proper English. You say “that window is mad big.”
–G Train
Old Chinese lady: Ex-see-cus-see me.
Old Chinese lady: Ex-see-cus-see me!
Gangsta: Man, what are you excusing me about? Fuck you!
Old Chinese lady: Fuck me? Ok, take-a off the pant.
Stairway in silence.
Old Chinese lady: Ex-see-cus-see me!
Gangsta: Sure thing, ma’am. I’m sorry.
Chinese kid: And that’s why we respect our elders.
–Canal St station
Little girl: Mom, can we go in the supermarket? I want honeycombs.
Mom: No.
Little girl: Mom!
Mom: Girl! You make wanna have a cigarette.
–Outside Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre
Overheard by: Glenn T
Dude #1: Dude, you see how hot Sara looked last night?
Dude #2: Dude, I would fucking lick her ass.
Dude #3: Dude, there’s kids around.
Dude #2: What, what did I say?
Dude #3: That you’d fuckin’ lick Sara’s ass!
40-something mom of three: Why don’t you know your fuckin’ surroundings, fuckface? There’s kids around.
Dude #2: Harsh, man.
–Park Ave & 19th St
Overheard by: Gary
