And a Hero to Generations of Date Rapists

Father, to daughter with Disney princess backpack: And who kisses sleeping beauty?
Daughter: The prince.
Father: He was a pretty lucky guy then, right?

–New Wave Diner, 79th & Broadway

Overheard by: EthanK

Posted on July 8, 2008
Dads, Default, Disney, Girls, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Billy Joel: “Hey!”

Girlfriend: I just don’t get it. Dan* can be such a nice guy, such a sweetheart. And then other times, he’s Satan. Something must have happened to him when he was a child.
Boyfriend: He’s from Long Island.

–Upper West Side

Overheard by: Not from Long Island

Posted on July 7, 2008
Boyfriends, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Girlfriends, Kids, Psychology, Satan, U.S. Geography, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

In Unrelated News, Aren’t You Glad We’re Ditching Bio Again?

Middle school kid #1: Why do they call it “PMS”?
Middle school kid #2: I dunno.
Middle school kid #1: Because “Mad Cow Disease” was taken.
(hilarious laughter ensues)
Middle school kid #2: That’s so funny. (pause) What’s “PMS”?
Middle school kid #1: I think it’s “Post Mental Syndrome” You know, when you dry up and can’t have babies.

–R Train

Posted on July 7, 2008
Babies, Boys, Default, Illness, Kids, On the Subway, Psychology, Questions, Words

A Perfectly Rational Response to a Man Coming Down Your Chimney

Woman #1: What’s wrong with Eddie*?
Woman #2: Oh, Eddie* gets claustrophobic in the city.
Little boy: That means he’s afraid of Santa Claus!

–39th St & 6th Ave

Posted on July 6, 2008
Boys, Default, Fears, Holidays, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Psychology, Questions, Women

Then How Did They Suffocate People?

Little boy: In the old days, before they had shopping bags, what did they use? Did they use paper bags?
Weary mom: Yes.
Little boy: Really? Brown paper bags?
Mom: Yes.
Little boy: That’s so cool!

–31st Ave, Astoria

Overheard by: Brigid

Posted on July 5, 2008
Astoria, Boys, Colors, Compliments, Default, Kids, Moms, Questions, Shopping

Two Girls, One Stradivarius Probably Isn’t Appropriate, Then

Woman: Do you have any books on violins?
Sales guy: Well, we don’t have a lot about playing them, but we have some about the sensuality of it.
Woman: It’s for a child.
Sales guy: Oh.

–Borders, 57th & Park Ave

Posted on July 3, 2008
9 to 5-ers, Books & Writing, Compare/Contrast, Customers, Default, Guys, Instruments, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, Questions, Sexuality, Store, Women

Mommy and Our Piano Tuner, to Use a Hypothetical Example

Father to little daughter: You are the most beautiful girl in this photo… and I’m not biased.
(daughter smiles)
Father: Do you know what “biased” means?
Daughter (rolling her eyes): Yes, it means that you like both boys and girls.

–F Train

Posted on July 3, 2008
Compliments, Dads, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Kids, On the Subway, Pictures, Sexuality, Words

Be Sure to Bury Me with My DS

Little girl with Nintendo DS: Mommy, since I can’t sleep in my room tonight, do I still have to help you right now?
Mom: Yes, you can still help.
Little girl: Ugh, fine. Just let me go die.

–Union Square