Crazy vet: Hey lady, you got any kids?
Sympathetic, but slightly freaked out woman: No.
Crazy vet: You got any grandkids?
Sympathetic, but slightly freaked out woman: Yeah, I got six grandbabies.
–14 D Bus
Overheard by: Fer
Crazy vet: Hey lady, you got any kids?
Sympathetic, but slightly freaked out woman: No.
Crazy vet: You got any grandkids?
Sympathetic, but slightly freaked out woman: Yeah, I got six grandbabies.
–14 D Bus
Overheard by: Fer
Girl: If I made a sex doll that smelled like elk, he would totally do it!
–Queens
Middle-aged Latino: I've got barbie dolls!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Newspaper vendor: Cause I have that multiple sneezing thing! I hate that crap! I'm like a bobble-head doll!
–96th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Galatea
Girl leaving nail salon: It looks like Malibu Barbie just threw up all over my feet.
–11th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Bill
Despondent little girl in coffee shop: Um, I don't play with the doll house that much because you said we're not supposed to play in the meditation room.
–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Mom: I’m gonna throw you in the garbage! You’re driving me crazy!
Toddler slung over her shoulder: No, Ma! Don’t throw me in the garbage!
Mom: Then stop driving me crazy!
–Near Echo Food, Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Yuu
Four-year-old kid, picking nose: Mom! Mom! [Kid holds out booger.]Mom: Where the fuck did you get that? Your nose? What the fuck do I want that for?
Four-year-old kid: Ummm…
Mom: That’s fucking gross! Drop that shit! [Mom grabs kid’s wrist and shakes vigorously until booger is dropped.] Now, give me a chip! [Kid gives mom a chip with booger hand.]
–A train
Overheard by: Adam Tetzloff
Child: Mommy, why do we have to take off our shoes?
Mom: Because that’s the kind of irrational world we live in, where little children have to take off their shoes.
–Security line, LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: jenya
Man on date: I probably shouldn't tell you this, but since I was little I had an imaginary friend named Picoletto.
Woman he's dating: Holy shit! You know Pico!
–McDonald's, Times Square
Overheard by: JP
Little kid with notebook: Mom, what is this called?
Mom: That's a notebook.
Little kid: Notebook! Notebook! I got a notebook! My Facebook! Facebook!
Mom, amused: How do you know about Facebook?
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: Camillia*
Little girl: … And then she said that I had herpes.
Woman #1: Coño.
Woman #2: Where do kids get this stuff?
–Lincoln Center
Older man: You get on my nerves… You get on my nerves, and I do not want to be arrested for beating a child.
Kid, cheerfully: You won't!
–Staples, Broadway & 184th St
Overheard by: prefers them over easy
Little girl in stroller, pointing to fossil in subway wall: Look! A skeleton fish!
Mother: And what's another name for a skeleton fish? (pause) A dinosaur!
–C Train
Overheard by: Kaitlen
