Seven-year-old girl: It would be fun to be a firefighter, or a policeman, or a princess…
Mom: Mmm-hm.
Seven-year-old girl: You know what else it would be fun to be? The devil.
Mom: Oh, dear…
–40th & 7th
Overheard by: That Girl
Seven-year-old girl: It would be fun to be a firefighter, or a policeman, or a princess…
Mom: Mmm-hm.
Seven-year-old girl: You know what else it would be fun to be? The devil.
Mom: Oh, dear…
–40th & 7th
Overheard by: That Girl
Toddler: Daddy, do you have your period?
Daddy: No. Only mommies get periods.
Mom whispers: Daddy has diarrhea.
Toddler to waitress: Mommy has her period and Daddy has diarrhea!!
–TGI Friday’s, Times Square
Very little girl: Okay, this is not going to be minutes, this is not going to be seconds: where is the panda?
Dad, looking around outdoor enclosure: Um… Oh! There it is!
Very little girl, peering through fence: I can't see it!
Dad, lifting her just above fence: How's that?
Very little girl: Okay! Let's go!
–Red Panda Habitat, Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Dad: The first president was George Washington, then John Adams, then Thomas Jefferson, then James Madison, then–
Little girl: –Who’s the last president?
Dad: The president now? George W. Bush.
Little girl: I thought he was dead.
Dad: No… Some people want him to be.
–B1 bus
Overheard by: Jennifer
Eight-year-old ghetto kid: Mama, give me your cell phone! I gotta call my girlfriend.
Mother: What you gonna talk to her about? How you can't read and write? Tell her to help you with that!
–Harlem
Overheard by: Joe
Midwestern child: Daddy, what’s that candle thing?
Midwestern father: It’s called a menorah. They use it on Jewish Christmas.
—Spamalot, Shubert Theatre, W 44th St
Teen ghetto girl: If you had a daughter…
Teen ghetto boy: If I had a daughter, there ain’t no way she’d be leavin’ the house with them short shorts and shit. And she fo’ sho’ wouldn’t be playin’ with them barbies. Barbies is evil. They mess with girls’ brains, makin’ them think they need to show off their shit and have babies when theys like 15. No barbies. Only puzzles.
–Manhattan bound N train
Overheard by: lauren
Girl, stung by bee: Ahhh! That motherfucker pinched me!
Boy: I’m gonna kill that nigga bee!
–125th & Broadway
Guy: So the other night Taryn was over with her kid, and my ex-girlfriend came by and happened to see, and Taryn’s baby is really light-skinned, so now my ex-girlfriend thinks I have another kid that I didn’t tell her about.
Friend: Did you tell her it wasn’t yours?
Guy: Yeah. I already have two kids, I really don’t need another one. Why would I keep it from my mom and my dad and her anyway?
–L train
Overheard by: Mina
