One Life to Wednesday One-Liner

Five-year-old boy to father: Is this an important life lesson?

–14th & 6th

Overheard by: A

Young Asian man to woman ignoring him: Hey, let's go get a falafel. Hey, hey–you live around here often?

–Union Square

Overheard by: serena

Woman, throwing McNuggets at man: Get the fuck out of my life!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Elliot

Frantic crazy guy: I'm gonna go have a seat in Starbucks and get my life together!

–6th Ave & 25th St

Overheard by: tbomb

Suit on phone: Well that's life, you screw people over and then you go to the Bahamas.

–Train into Penn Station

Posted on July 6, 2020
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Asians, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crazies, Dads, Ethnic Food, Guys, Insults, Kids, Men, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Penn Station, Philosophy, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Street, Suits, The Village, Times Square, Trains Not Subway, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

She Misses Mommy’s Heroin Years

Little girl: Mommy! Mommy!
Mother: What is it?!
Little girl: Why you gotta have an attitude?

–Cortelyou & Marlborough, Brooklyn

Overheard by: BWA

Posted on July 3, 2020
Brooklyn, Kids, Moms, Questions

There's Reality, and Then There's What I'll Admit to

Park slope kid : Mommy, mommy, mommy! Can you fart?
Park slope mom, hesitant: That's not something to say on a train, sweetie. And no.
(little girls starts to throw a fit)
Park slope kid: Why not?!

–F Train

Posted on July 1, 2020
Etiquette, Farting & Burping, Handicaps, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Parents

From the Monastic Tradition

Little girl: Hey mom, what's a cloister?
Little boy: It's a Pokemon, duh!

–1 Train

Overheard by: Melissa

Posted on June 16, 2020
Kids, On the Subway, Pop Culture, Questions, Words

Facebook May Need to Tighten Up the Privacy Controls Again

Seven-year-old kid #1: Did you see pookie at school the other day?
Seven-year-old kid #2: Yeah, but I don't know… Her personality at school is all nice and shit, but have you seen her Facebook profile?! You can tell that bitch likes to fuck!

–Q Train

Posted on June 1, 2020
Facebook, Kids, Nicknames & name calling, On the Subway, Questions, School and studying, Sex

What? I'm Diabetic!

Mom to fussing toddler: I'm right here, sweetheart!
Crazy guy: Sweetheart. Sweeeetheart. Why not “salt” heart? Saaaaaaaaaalllllllttttt heeeeaaaaaarrt!

–Starbucks

Posted on May 3, 2020
Body Parts, Crazies, Food, Guys, Kids, Moms, Nicknames & name calling, Parents, Starbucks

The Pitter-Patter of Tiny Wednesday One-Liners

Young boy: Fuck school! When I’m old enough, I’m just going to stay home and make babies.

–1 Train

College professor: Everything that is wrong in this world can be traced back to babies.

–40th & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Just Trying to Smoke in Peace

Girl on phone: I’m going to have to cancel for a few different reasons. First, the baby hasn’t gotten all her shots. And more importantly, there’s something pecking through my wall! I’m really freaked out!

–Bleecker and Lafayette

Woman with three kids, after watching the eldest push the middle to the ground: What are you pushing him down for? Are you trying to upset my stomach so I lose this baby inside me?

–St Marks Place, Staten Island

Girl on cell: Well if she likes to have babies so much, why don’t she just be a … doctor!

–52nd & 7th

Professor: 42-year-old babies don’t have bones.

–Schenectady County Community College