Girl: I’m just worried that she’s going to be scary. I mean, talk about Bible stories, but not the Devil, or going to hell. They’re 5 year olds.
Guy: I wouldn’t worry about that.
Girl: Just, you know, some Christians are crazy.
Guy: I’m more worried that they’ll want to be naked and she’ll be offended.
–1 train
Overheard by: Nadine
Six-year-old blonde girl with a Hanna Montana purse: Daddy, it’s so dark, isn’t this romantic?
Dad, nervously looking around: No, this is the farthest thing from romantic.
–7 Train
Five-year-old girl in funny voice: I don't wear eyeshadow. I am an alien. I am allowed to be weird.
–Downtown 6 Train, Union Square
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Brunette: So, wait. Are they scientists or large-headed aliens?
–Harlem
Overheard by: Ladle
Hobo: You may not know this, but I am from another planet. I am also recruiting souls for my army in the underworld. We are four hundred thousand billion strong. Everybody better watch out!
–1 Train
Geeky guy to another: Have you seen the planet he's from? Goddamn!
–N Train
Girl to friend (animated, with hand gestures): I mean, you could actually *see* E.T.'s birth…
–5th Ave & 14th St
Guy, very sure of himself: I would much rather hunt aliens than ghosts, at least that makes sense.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: jessi pfeufer
Five-year-old child: Is this our stop, mommy?
Mother: No sweetie, this is the ghetto. Never get off here.
(two people sitting across give them dirty looks as they leave the train)
–Metro-North, Harlem
Overheard by: getting off at the 125th street stop
Little girl playing video game: I’m shooting fish.
Mom: Stop talking retarded.
Little girl playing video game: But I’m supposed to shoot the fish!
–Queens Center Mall
Dad: My Bloody Valentine in 3-d…violence and naked women.
Nine-year-old son: Yeah, that's the only reason you want to see that movie.
–Kafuman Studio Movie Theater, Astoria
Little tourist boy: Mommy! Look, that lady is a Nazi!
Frazzled tourist mom: What? Oh… Honey, that nice lady is hailing a cab, not Hitler.
–Bowery
Three-year-old boy: One of my friends died.
Mom: Wait — what?!
Three-year-old boy: Yeah, one of my best friends died in a car crash when your friend died in a car crash.
Mom: Huh?
Three-year-old boy: Yes, we were flying in a plane and suddenly another plane came from behind and crashed into us. I ran away, but she got hurt. And died.
Mom: What? Huh?
Three-year-old boy: I’ll tell you more later… These trains have ears.
–6 train
Overheard by: impressed with todays youth
Little girl, pointing to grab holds: Look, Dad, monkey bars!
Little boy: I wanna play on the pole! No, you can’t too, this is my pole!
Dad: Bobby, everyone can play on the pole!
Little girl: Bobby, go back to your pole!
Little boy: Fine! Look, Dad, I’m a pole dancer!
–PATH train, World Trade Center
Five-year-old boy: That shirt’s nice! Where you get it?
Five-year-old girl: The store!
Five-year-old boy, impressed: Damn!
–125th & St. Nicholas
Overheard by: Nicole
