M4M Wednesday One-Liners

Teenager: Do you know where the Gay Pride Parade is?… I’m not gay!

–Astor Place

Guy: And so, this one gay guy in your office was wearing these pants, and his fly was open and this straight guy could see his penis, or some shit like that, right?

–9th St, Park Slope

Queer on cell: You really think she’s into gay guys?

–NYU

Guy, pointing to gay hipster: That’s like “I like it in the bum” written in hair.

–Peculier Pub, Bleecker St

Overheard by: Mad

Mom, to young son: It’s not a matter of being gay or not, darling. I just won’t let you participate in your school play.

–Broadway

Girl: Well, I couldn’t really sing the last part. We were both on our backs with our legs wide open. The only redeeming fact is that he was gay!

–Corbin Plaza, Brighton Beach

Overheard by: Anti-Traffic Girl

Flamboyant tween boy: I hate health class! You know what I’m going to do in health class today? I’m going to tell the teacher I’m gay! And that I like to suck dick!

–5th Ave, Park Slope

Posted on April 11, 2015
BJs, Clothing, Education, Fag Hags, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Hair, Hipsters, Kids, Moms, Office politics, Queer guys, School and studying, Sexuality, Singing, Students, Teens, Theater & Dance, Tweens, Wednesday One-Liners

Here, Suck on This Sugar Cube.

Son: Can I have a grape soda?
Mother: When you're 12.
Son: When I'm… 10?
Mother: When you brush you teeth better.

–49th St

Overheard by: Justin

Posted on April 11, 2015
Age/Aging, Body Parts, Cleanliness, Drinks, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms

Seems He Wouldn’t Have a Problem with That

Girl: I’m just worried that she’s going to be scary. I mean, talk about Bible stories, but not the Devil, or going to hell. They’re 5 year olds.
Guy: I wouldn’t worry about that.
Girl: Just, you know, some Christians are crazy.
Guy: I’m more worried that they’ll want to be naked and she’ll be offended.

–1 train

Overheard by: Nadine

Posted on April 11, 2015
Christianity, Friends, Kids, Nudity, On the Subway

That’s Not What You Said on the 1 Train

Six-year-old blonde girl with a Hanna Montana purse: Daddy, it’s so dark, isn’t this romantic?
Dad, nervously looking around: No, this is the farthest thing from romantic.

–7 Train

Posted on April 11, 2015
Compare/Contrast, Dads, Default, Girls, Kids, On the Subway, Parents, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Want to Believe

Five-year-old girl in funny voice: I don't wear eyeshadow. I am an alien. I am allowed to be weird.

–Downtown 6 Train, Union Square

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Brunette: So, wait. Are they scientists or large-headed aliens?

–Harlem

Overheard by: Ladle

Hobo: You may not know this, but I am from another planet. I am also recruiting souls for my army in the underworld. We are four hundred thousand billion strong. Everybody better watch out!

–1 Train

Geeky guy to another: Have you seen the planet he's from? Goddamn!

–N Train

Girl to friend (animated, with hand gestures): I mean, you could actually *see* E.T.'s birth…

–5th Ave & 14th St

Guy, very sure of himself: I would much rather hunt aliens than ghosts, at least that makes sense.

–Starbucks

Overheard by: jessi pfeufer

Posted on April 11, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Friends, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hobos, Kids, Makeup, On the Subway, Questions, Science, Starbucks, Stupidity, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Sorry– I Only Meant We’re Too White to Get Off Here

Five-year-old child: Is this our stop, mommy?
Mother: No sweetie, this is the ghetto. Never get off here.
(two people sitting across give them dirty looks as they leave the train)

–Metro-North, Harlem

Overheard by: getting off at the 125th street stop

Posted on April 11, 2015
Advice, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Kids, Moms, Parents, Public Transportation, Questions, Stupidity, Threats, Trains Not Subway, Words

Why Don’t You Ever Take an Interest in My Activities?

Little girl playing video game: I’m shooting fish.
Mom: Stop talking retarded.
Little girl playing video game: But I’m supposed to shoot the fish!

–Queens Center Mall

Posted on April 10, 2015
Kids, Moms, Queens, Video Games

Though It Still Doesn't Explain Why You Keep Forcing Me to Watch WALL-E

Dad: My Bloody Valentine in 3-d…violence and naked women.
Nine-year-old son: Yeah, that's the only reason you want to see that movie.

–Kafuman Studio Movie Theater, Astoria

Posted on April 9, 2015
Astoria, Dads, Kids, Movie Theaters, Movies, Nudity, Parents, Porn, Violence, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

And a Nazi Wouldn’t Hail a Cab Of Color

Little tourist boy: Mommy! Look, that lady is a Nazi!
Frazzled tourist mom: What? Oh… Honey, that nice lady is hailing a cab, not Hitler.

–Bowery

Posted on April 7, 2015
Boys, Cars and Driving, Hitler/Nazis, Kids, Parents, Tourists, Union Square and East Village

Why They Make Children’s Chewable Lithium

Three-year-old boy: One of my friends died.
Mom: Wait — what?!
Three-year-old boy: Yeah, one of my best friends died in a car crash when your friend died in a car crash.
Mom: Huh?
Three-year-old boy: Yes, we were flying in a plane and suddenly another plane came from behind and crashed into us. I ran away, but she got hurt. And died.
Mom: What? Huh?
Three-year-old boy: I’ll tell you more later… These trains have ears.

–6 train

Overheard by: impressed with todays youth

Posted on April 7, 2015
Kids, On the Subway, Weirdness

Kids