Cop: How do you say “dog” in Spanish?
Starbucks guy: Perro.
Cop: Okay. How do you say “dog” in Mexican?
Starbucks guy: Usted es un idiota.
–Starbucks, 47th & 5th
Cop: How do you say “dog” in Spanish?
Starbucks guy: Perro.
Cop: Okay. How do you say “dog” in Mexican?
Starbucks guy: Usted es un idiota.
–Starbucks, 47th & 5th
Queer #1: Overheard made me straight.
Queer #2: Huh?
Queer #1: Overheard in New York, the website?
Queer #2: I know what it is. How the fuck could it make you straight?
Queer #1: Well, there was this picture….of a body without a head…and it looked like a guy…a hot one, so I emailed–
Queer #2: You emailed someone about a headless pic on a website?
Queer #1: Don’t judge! You do it on Manhunt all the time! Whatever, so the guy who runs the website is all, “No, it’s a girl. Ha, ha, ha, you like girls.” He revoked my gay card.
Queer #2: That’s what you get for headless picture hunting on the internet.
Queer #1: Shut up, bottomboimanhattan24. You’re one to talk.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: I was nearly dying. I’m not sure if the original story is true, but if so, this is hysterical.
Oh, it’s true:
Guy #1: Cato worked his way into power through his ororatorical…ororitary…He talked good.
Guy #2: I think that was meta-irony.
–116th & Broadway
Old lady: I like this address book, but I want one with ABCs on the side.
Store guy: Well, this one has tabs, but no letters…
Old lady: Why don’t you have any that have ABCs?
Store guy: This collection was made in Japan…
Old lady: And what, they don’t go by ABCs there?
–MoMA Design Store, West 53rd Street
Woman: The problem is that I’m flesh and you keep thinking that I’m stone.
Man: Actually I was just thinking about fucking you.
–Village Vanguard, 7th Avenue South
Overheard by: Paul
Girl #1: It’s not that I hated history, I just hated all the
memorization. All the names, and dates, and places. And the wars! I mean, how am I supposed to remember whether Hitler was in World War I or World War II?
Girl #2: I think he had his own war.
–Office, 34th & Lexington
Overheard by: Fat Clown
Hipster guy #1: Oh my god, fuck the Strokes! I’m here for Eagles of Death Metal! Yeah! Ha, ha! Fuck, I love eagles but I hate death metal!
Hipster girl: Where’s Julian? Where’s Julian?
Hipster guy #2: Shut the fuck up guys, this lead singer’s fuckin’ Dave Grohl or some shit!
–Hammerstein Ballroom, West 34th Street
Girl: Was it wrong that I totally didn’t enjoy that at all?
Guy: Uh…
Girl: I mean it was like every song is exactly the same and they’re just a bunch of 6 1/2 foot tall guys in leather jackets.
–34th between 8th & 9th
Chick #1: Yeah, but I can’t keep fucking him.
Chick #2: Why not?
Chick #1: Because I’m not in love with him.
Chick #2: Oh. Well, how did you fuck him till now?
Chick #1: Usually with me on top.
–Clinton & Rivington
Old lady #1: Oh, how awful! You cut your dog’s ears. How horrible! How’d you like to have your ears trimmed?
Old lady #2: I would.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Robert Hall
Girl #1: I wanted to see if it was possible to walk here from campus in 20 minutes.
Girl #2: So is it?
Girl #1: No, it took me 22, and I think my boots are filled with blood.
–26th & 2nd
