Guy #1: Damn that girl is fine. I’d give my left nut to get her a night.
Guy #2: Dude, why your left nut?
Guy #1: Because it’s attached directly to your heart.
Guy #2: Oh my god, what bio class have you been taking?
–20th & Park
Overheard by: Kiuu SMith
Girl: So I’m not the biggest comic fan, but these were from the thirties and I open it up and HELLO DONALD DUCK with an erection!
Guy: Whoa, porno.
Girl: Yeah, it was $4.95 which I totally had, but I mean…there was even this poem. “This is the tale of Donald Duck, he just wants a duck to fuck.”
Guy: Was he…you know?
Girl: Circumcised?
–Central Park South
Old lady leaving The Tony Danza Show #1: Grazie!
Old lady leaving The Tony Danza Show #2: Why didn’t you wear the right shoes?
Old lady leaving The Tony Danza Show #1: No, no, these are fine.
Old lady leaving The Tony Danza Show #2: Aaaah, blow me. They’re terrible.
–66th between Columbus & Central Park West
Overheard by: MojoSaves
Woman: That movie’s so stupid! They got King Kong and the dinosaurs fighting even though they are from different centuries.
–Mama’s Pizza, 106th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Kyle T
Teen girl: You know, I don’t think I even believe in dinosaurs.
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Overheard by: Paul
Drunk girl: Sometimes, when I look at myself through the microscope of cold, hard objectivity, I think to myself, “God, you are awesome!”
–47th & 9th
Overheard by: Nick Salvato
Woman: I got yoo-hooed just now by Greg.
Man: Yoo-hooed?
Woman: Yeah, he totally waved his hand and said, ‘Yoo-hoo!’
Man: Dude, you just can’t say that if you’re under the age of 65 and not referring to a chocolate beverage.
–Central Park
Hobo: I’m trying to get something to eat.
Suit: Well, you’re obviously not going to be that successful without having any money.
–94th & Broadway
Man (to hipstress): You should get a tattoo of Ben Franklin.
–22nd & Park Ave South
Overheard by: Matt Law
Bimbette: … And then I was thinking, Wouldn’t it suck if the Titanic really happened?
Friend: Are you fucking serious?
Bimbette: Yeah! I mean, it would be sad, right?
–34th St
Queer #1: When is the Puerto Rican Day parade?
Queer #2: Omigod, today!
Queer #1: Hmm. Don’t people get gang-raped at those things?
Queer #2: Maybe, I guess? Let’s go!
–West Side Highway & Jane St
