Journalism professor: Can anyone, for extra credit, give me two words to describe this day that will go down in history?
Silence
Professor: I’ll give you a clue — it has to do with President Bush.
Random student: “Mission accomplished!”
Girl #1 to her friend: Mission Impossible? What does Tom Cruise have to do with Bush?
Girl #2: Yeah, I know, that movie isn’t even out yet!
–Silver Center, NYU
Incredulous man: I've only seen people like you on tv and the movies!
Unfazed woman: Well, I exist.
Incredulous man: Yes!
–Columbus Circle
Little girl: Mommy! Is that Times Square!? I see lights, mommy! It's Times Square!
Mommy: Umm… Where, honey? We're not there yet.
Little girl: Yes, we are! Look, mommy! Look at the lights! Peep World, mommy! Peep World!
–33rd St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: I want that to be my kid.
Student: I just always assumed everyone’s love of integrals.
–John Jay Hall, Columbia
Dude: I had her up against the wall and was all like, ‘Jimmy cracked corn,’ and shit. She was lovin’ it.
–A train, 42nd St
Overheard by: Ilyse
Man: I did scream, ‘I love you Lindsay Lohan!’ when I saw her at the costume thing, but that’s just ’cause everyone else was.
–20th & 5th
Man on cell: No, not that Jim. The Jim who loves acid and foie gras.
–Metropolitan & Union, Brooklyn
Overheard by: liza
Conductor: I know you’ve heard of the love boat. Well, this is the love train.
–Metro-North
Overheard by: Mark Schilsky
Guy to girlfriend at table of friends: You just love my average-sized cock!
–3rd & 2nd
Overheard by: Chuckles
Guy #1: …and then I came in and Anne was watching some gay movie with Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix–
Guy #2: Who’s River Phoenix?
Guy #1: You know, Joaquin Phoenix’s brother.
Guy #2: Joaquin Phoenix has a brother?
Guy #1: I guess…
–A train
Man #1: Yeah… So I took my daughter to see that movie, Enchanted.
Man #2: Sounds good… Wait! Isn’t that about a prostitute?!
–333 Lafayette St
Overheard by: OverHearer369
Hipster #1: I wish I had cameras in my eyes so I could film movies while I walk around.
Hipster #2: Yeah, that’d be cool, but I’d still rather just have eyes.
–34th between 8th & 9th
Overheard by: with a K
Hipster chick: What happened here?
Cop: Everything’s alright… Spider-Man saved the day.
–Union Square subway station
Guy #1: Women should be kept in pods like in The Matrix. And whenever we want one, we just pay a fee and rent them for a few days for sex and cooking. Then we put them back. They shouldn't be allowed to walk the streets…ever.
Guy #2: Or they should be put in a one big room where they sew and cook and sip tea until they get a call.
Guy #1: Yeah, that's a bit more humane, I guess.
–Spring & Varick
Teenage tourist, pointing: Mom, look! It’s Daryl Hannah!
Mom: Honey, that’s not Daryl Hannah. That’s one of those transgender people.
–Downtown 6 train, 77th St
Overheard by: Anne
Headline by: pontiac
Runners-Up:
·
“As I Always Say, ‘If You Can’t Tell, It Doesn’t Matter.'” – Dave
· “Must Be Nicolette Sheridan’s Day Off.” – seamus
· “Not to Mention She’s still Tied to a Walnut Tree in LA” – Liz!
· “Perhaps the Blade Runner Left an Angry Inch” – megs
· “So That’s Where She Went.” – Eamon Stimson
· “Technically, They’re Both Right” – Wes Mantooth
· “Tom Hanks Thought It Was a Fish Tail.” -peter
· “Who Says ‘Ambiguous’ Isn’t a Classic Look?” –
Dame Droiture
