Black guy holding out headphones: Hey man, you like hip-hop music? It’s all me right here, pimp!
Long-haired metalhead: Nah, man. I got nothing.
Black guy: White boy with no money? C’mon, I find that hard to believe.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Phil
Black guy holding out headphones: Hey man, you like hip-hop music? It’s all me right here, pimp!
Long-haired metalhead: Nah, man. I got nothing.
Black guy: White boy with no money? C’mon, I find that hard to believe.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Phil
Hipster #1: Okay, so I am going to tap out a song on the table, and you are going to guess what it is!
Hipster #2: Okay, go. [As #1 taps] Oh, oh! I know! ‘Hakuna Matata,’ right?
Hipster #1: Um, no! God, you are so racist — just because we’re in a Japanese restaurant, you think it’s gotta be a Japanese song! It was ‘Death Cab for Cutie,’ you fool.
–Nobu, Hudson St
Overheard by: trying not to laugh behind them
Dude: It weirds me out when deaf people can talk.
–Bryant Park
Chick: There’s a house, and he grew up in that house, and now he lives in that house. How weird. How local.
–N train, Queens
Overheard by: Morgan
Guy: I want a giant tattoo of Weird Al and Thomas Dolby shaking hands.
–Bar, Lower East Side
Hipster on cell: Is wanting a bed-and-breakfast, a weed garden, and a forest full of Thai tranny fawns so fucking weird?
–Houston and Elizabeth
Girl: So we were at her house the other day smoking pot, and I was like, ‘This pot tastes weird.’ And I asked John if it tasted weird and he said, ‘Yeah, it does.’ So I asked her if she had been using her crack pipe to smoke pot out of again and she said, ‘Oops.’
–20th St & 8th Ave
Bright-purple-mohawk guy to shaved-head girl with multiple nose piercings: Your best friend is so weird!
–12th St & University Pl
Overheard by: Joe
Suit on cell: Yeah, it’s kind of weird dating my sister.
–33rd & 7th
Hippie #1: Is that Trey Anastasio from Phish?
Hippie #2: No, man, that’s a streetlight.
–Church St & Cortlandt St
Overheard by: The Faker
Girl on cell: I’m looking at your Myspace right now. Change your song. You don’t know my brother. You shouldn’t have his song on here if you don’t know him. He wrote it, he sings it, it’s his song. No, I don’t care. Take it off. You don’t even know him. Well, you better. Like, today. I’ll see you on Saturday.
–Great Kills Library, Staten Island
Overheard by: Tracy
Punk #1: You hear CBGB’s closed down?
Punk #2: Yeah, that sucks.
Punk #1: I had a threesome in the bathroom there during an Alkaline Trio concert.
Punk #2: Really?
Punk #1: No.
Punk #2: Nice story though.
–53rd St 7th Ave
Overheard by: Travis
Gangsta, trying to sell his rap album: Yo ma, you like hip hop?
Girl: I dabble.
–Times Square
Frat boy #1: Remember that pussy I was hittin’ a few weeks ago?
Frat boy #2: Yeah.
Frat boy #1: She’s in a coma now.
Frat boy #2’s girlfriend: That reminds me of that Smiths song, ‘Girlfriend in a Coma.’ Have you ever heard it?
–Virgin Megastore
Ghetto girl #1: Yo, I been to a lot of ghettos and shit, but I ain’t never goin’ to Compton.
Ghetto girl #2: Mhm. Word, yo.
Suit: NWA, yo. Straight outta Compton!
–6 train, Hunter College station
Overheard by: not going to compton anytime soon
Big white dyke: You know what we should do? We should call Hugh and all our slutty friends. They could all come over and get drunk, and we’d put on some rap.
Big black dyke: What?
Big white dyke: No, seriously, I was at my friends’ party and we put on a Biggie Smalls album. Fifteen minutes later it was the sleaziest party I’ve ever been to.
–Brooklyn bound Q
Overheard by: Benjamin
