Music

You Promised Us ‘Goddamn Lovely’

Lady hobo: Y’all got some money up in here?! [Long pause] I’ll take some food… A fruit, a coke, a twizlah, a bag of chips, a hair comb. I will eat anything you give me! I ain’t ashamed! [Longer pause] Shoot. Aight. I’ll sing. I’ll goddamn sing y’all a song. Any of you object to this? Anyone object to me singing a goddamn lovely song? ‘Cause I’ll do it. Sir, sir, you object? Miss? [Passengers begin to laugh.] Okay, this is the last call for anyone who objects. One, two, three… [Starts singing old southern tune].
High school thug: Yo, is this shit too late to object to? Shut the fuck up.

–Brooklyn-bound F train

Overheard by: CrappedMyPantsOut

And Think How Many You Just Wasted on Rent

Frat boyfriend: Wait, 525,600 what? What was that about?
Girlfriend: Minutes, baby. It’s, like, how many minutes we have in our lives.
Frat boyfriend: Oh. [Two blocks later] Wait, 525,600 what? Minutes?
Girlfriend: Yes. Minutes.

–Nederlander Theatre, 41st & 7th

Wow, Social D Is Still Together?

Boyfriend: Wha– what?
Girlfriend: Weren’t you listening?
Boyfriend: I’m really excited to see Social D tonight. I haven’t been paying attention for the last hour.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Take Me, My Mighty Silverback!

Jerk in back row: Paul McCartney should have stopped after the Beatles. I mean, what the fuck else good did he do after that? Nothing. Not a goddamn thing. He couldn’t go from point A to point B. What’s the shortest distance from A to B, again? Like, the hypotenuse of a triangle? He never found the hypotenuse without Lennon.
Annoyed man in front of him: Dude, the hypotenuse is the longest side. Now shut the fuck up.
Annoyed man’s girlfriend: That was so hot.

–Carnegie Hall

For Wednesday One-Liners, Sexy Never Went Away

Teen boy: I really think that in Dracula the vampire dude is trying to bring the sexy back to England.

–F train

Overheard by: Mike N

Conductor: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, this is your conductor. It seems that many of you enjoy cramming into this train as if there is not another one directly behind us. But I understand, for I am a very sexy conductor, and everyone wants to be on my train. If you do, please stand clear of the doors. Thank you.

–6 train, 59th St

Overheard by: Katey

Girl: That was a sexy garbage can…

–Stuyvesant High School

Little boy in stroller: I’m bringing sexy back!

–Park Slope

Overheard by: sarah B

Wednesday One-Liners Have a Little Dance Number, Too

Drunk singing to tune of ‘Proud Mary’: But I never did the Macarena, and I never caught the gonorrhea…

–Stanton St & Clinton St

Conductor: Folks, I’ve been having a recurring dream that I’d like to share with you. [Singing in high falsetto voice] I’m dreaming of a white Christmas…

–A train

Girl singing at fax machine: I’m bringing faxin’ back, yeah!

–Kinko’s, 54th St, between 7th & 8th Ave

Overheard by: jarett

Conducter over intercom: This is the last stop on the G train. [Two minutes later, conductor raps over intercom] G train — nah mean? Nice and clean for you bums that stayed on this train.

–G train, Court St

Overheard by: I Just Missed My Stop

Conductor singing over intercom: Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the blah blah blah…

–A train

Overheard by: Heather

Panhandler singing: I will pay you back!

–7th Ave & Christopher St

Overheard by: Rolfer

Wednesday One-Liners Are with the Band

Man: I am the piano of humans.

–32nd & Lex

Overheard by: Em

Boss: You don’t want to ruin your crack-high with that harmonica racket.

–1 Madison Ave

Overheard by: KDOTU

Four-year-old holding maracas: These shakers give me speed!

–VFW Hall, Long Island

Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief

Hipster: None of them could play their instruments or sing, and they all kept spitting on each other, but there was free beer so I was there.

–Metropolitan and Union, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Jesse

Six-year-old girl is blowing hard on a clarinet-type toy.

Mom: If you start feeling dizzy, you tell Mommy, okay?

–East Village

Overheard by: jho

Woman eating lunch: …Then they threw my father out of the Communist Party again. This time it was for refusing to play his accordion at parties.

–1300 York Ave

And Pissed about It

Smart girl #1: I didn’t know Lady Sovereign was white.
Smart girl #2: She’s not white, she’s British.

–Virgin Records

He’s Talking about His Generation

Man in Who shirt: Whoa! I didn’t see that shirt! That’s a cool one!
Man with French accent: Oh, yeah, I got this one at the show in France.
Man in Who shirt: Were they screaming as loud as we were tonight?
Man with French accent: No, we put our hands over our heads and snap our fingers and say ‘Ooh-la-la.’
His wife: What’d you have to do that for? You don’t have to fuck around with everyone on the street!
Man with French accent, now speaking in Brooklyn accent: What’s the fun of wearing a fake, five-dollar Chinatown Who shirt if I’m not gonna make fun of those assholes in the process?

–Pizza shop outside MSG after the Who show

It’s a Copyright Violation Grand Slam

NYU student #1: What’s that song, ‘Walk Like a Man’?
NYU student #2: No, it’s ‘Walk Like an Egyptian.’
NYU student #3: Who sings that?
NYU student #1: Phil Collins.

All three start singing Tarzan theme song.

–Canal & Lafayette

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist