Nice People

Security guy: Ma’am, please step into the back of the store.
Chick: But why?
Security guy: Don’t make this harder on yourself.
Chick: But why?
Shopgirl: They do make it harder on themselves, don’t they?
Chick: Fuck you!

–Sephora, Spring & Broadway

Man: So, whatever you want to do, I’ll do.
Woman: But…
Man: I’m fine doing whatever makes you happy.
Woman: But that’s stupid.

–Starbucks, 87th & Lexington

Man: Do you need some help with that stroller, Miss?
Mom to kid in stroller: This ain’t no Bum-a-Ride — get up, fool.

–A train, Rockaway Blvd

(older woman falls and younger woman helps her put on her shoes)
Older woman, surprised: Oh! Wow, thank you so much!
Young lady: Yeah, well… I'm a transplant.

–Columbus Circle

Woman: Hello.
Guy: What?
Woman: I said hello.
Guy: Oh. It sure is, it sure is.

–315 Hudson St

Overheard by: Lalaith

Charity volunteer: Would you like to sponsor this child?
Grumpy man: I got three kids at home, and besides, I never even met this bastard!

–Broadway at City Hall

Overheard by: Darrin

Woman blocking sidewalk for filming: Please wait two minutes. Just two minutes.
Woman barging through crowd: I didn't know this was a congregation area! (curses at woman blocking crowd)
Polite girl: Since the asshole got through, can the nice people go through?

–Bleecker St

Woman walking against massive subway crowd: Woah, this is fun. Hey, everybody!
Man, after passing her: Fuck you, lady.

–Lorimer Stop

Overheard by:

Hobo: Hey, you got any money?
Nice lady: I don’t have any change, but I can give you some on my way out, or get you something to eat.
Hobo: I’ll take the money. But don’t worry, I ain’t gonna use it to buy booze or drugs.
Nice lady: As far I am concerned, you can use the money for whatever you want.
Hobo: Whoa, lady! That’s way too liberal for me.

–Outside health food store, Brooklyn

Man sitting down: Your fly is open.
Cop: What?
Man: Your fly is open.
Cop, looking down: Hey, I’m going to the jail and I got my nuts hangin’ out! Thanks, man.
Man: Sure, no problem.

–7 train, 46th St, Woodside

Overheard by: Didn’t see his nuts…