Chick #1: I should go to sleep earlier. I want to, but for some reason I just can’t.
Chick #2, reading: Uh-huh.
Chick #1: I should also kill my roommate. I desperately want to, but I don’t think prison would agree with me. I don’t want to be someone’s bitch.
Chick #2, still reading: Uh-huh.
Chick #1: Are you even listening to me?
Chick #2, exasperated: What the hell do you want?!
–NYU
Girl #1: Uh… This is the women’s restroom, right?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: This is the women’s restroom, right?
Girl #2: Yeah. Why?
Girl #1: There was just a guy in here!
Girl #3: No… that’s a woman.
Girl #1: Oh.
Girl #3: Yeah, she’s in my class.
–NYU
Headline by: Brady
Runners-Up:
· “Does She Always Stand While She Pees?” – Hobo Whisperer
· “Hermaphrodites 101” – Sami
· “Janet Reno: The College Years” – International Man of Leisure
· “Just because I’m washing my hands, doesn’t mean I can’t hear you.” – aaron Stephenson
NYU Tisch student #1: What are your views on religion?
NYU Tisch student #2: I don’t believe in God. I do believe in bran cereal. It protects against rectal cancer.
–NYU Tisch building
Girl #1: Have you been lying to Mom and Dad a lot lately?
Girl #2: No, why?
Girl #1: Because I have and I was wondering if you were, too.
–Kimmel Center, NYU
Dude: So, how’s Chin Chin doing?
Girl: Oh, pretty good. She just got over that whole vaginal discharge thing. [Awkward silence.]Dude, to another girl: Chin Chin is her dog, by the way.
–NYU dorm elevator
Overheard by: valerie
Girl #1: And then we had sex for, like, two hours!
Girl #2: Ew, who wants to have sex for two hours? I’d be like, ‘Get off me.’
–19 W 4th, NYU
Judge: Wow, this girl sounds like the future generation’s Tori Amos.
Philistine in audience: I don’t know who that is, but I disagree.
–NYU talent show, Skirball Center, Washington Square South
Female student: I’m going to Acapulco for spring break!
Classmate: Wow, you’re going to have so much fun! Don’t drink too much!
Professor: Yeah, I’d better not see you on the Internet the next morning.
–NYU
Girl: Last time you told me something was overrated I got pregnant.
–Sephora, Broadway
Overheard by: linzz
Guy: … So then she changed her middle name to something like "Afterbirth…"
–Spring St
Overheard by: boston bobby
College guy on cell: He was like, ‘Shit, she’s got a bun in the oven!’ And I was like, ‘Oh, shit!’
–Columbia University
Overheard by: roo
Chick: She said he talked to her on the phone and that’s how he got her pregnant.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Overheard by: Wondering how that works
Preggers: I’m gonna across this street against the light, pregnant and all, and I’m not gonna have a miscarriage.
–Eastern Pkwy & Classon Ave, Crown Heights, Brooklyn
Employee to another: I only gained two pounds during my pregnancy, and I’m on my seventh month!
–Burger King, 5th Ave, between 36th & 37th
Overheard by: EE Grimshaw
NYU girl on cell: … So then the doctor comes in and he goes, ‘Houston, we have a problem…" I know, right? What’s with doctors trying to be all funny when they’re telling you that you’re pregnant?
–NYU bus
Overheard by: tj
NYU student #1: Ew! That movie was like porn!
NYU student #2: I don’t know why we watched that in class!
NYU student #3: Disgusting!
–Outside lecture hall, Silver Center
