Woman, 50s: I eat Cheerios every morning.
Man, 50s: Cheerios are good for your heart.
–Popeye’s, Bay Ridge
Woman, 50s: I eat Cheerios every morning.
Man, 50s: Cheerios are good for your heart.
–Popeye’s, Bay Ridge
Old woman, to woman talking on Bluetooth headset: Excuse me, but are you talking to yourself?
Woman just looks at her and keeps talking.
Old woman: No, seriously! Are you talking to yourself? Because, if you are, you should be nicer to yourself.
–Central Park
Large bald man on Bluetooth: He got a fuckin' boo boo, that's all!
–Gramercy
Suit on cell: So, I haven't been electrocuted…yet.
–L Train
Elderly woman: I regret that she broke her arm. I do not regret pushing her down the stairs.
–E Train
Overheard by: Pat
Little boy: I hope the boo-boo goes away soon! My staple won't hold that long!
–23rd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Say what?
Guy on train to friend: Hey, would you still date a girl if she was in an industrial accident and had to wear a Darth Vader suit forever?
–6 Train
(nurse with elderly lady on wheelchair comes against Asian American pregnant woman with baby in stroller)
Nurse: Oh my, I'm sorry! (pulls back to let woman and child pass)
Asian American pregnant woman: Oh, I'm sorry, I can…
Senile old lady: Get out of the way, chink!
(infant cries)
Asian American pregnant woman: Excuse me?
Nurse: Oh my god! I'm so sorry.
Senile old lady: Don't apologize!
(nurse backs up and lets mother and child through)
–Washington Square Village
Overheard by: zgoldberg
Old woman: I bought this Caesar salad, but I don’t know where to get the dressing. Please, can you tell me where I can get some dressing?
Cute girl: Ummm, I don’t know. I’ve never had a salad here before.
Old woman: But where do you think the dressing could be?
Cute girl: Well, possibly in the refrigerator over there… where they keep the drinks?
Old woman: Are you sure?
Cute girl: Well, that’s my hypothesis, but it hasn’t been tested.
–Le Pain Quotidien, 58th & 7th
Young man: So you think you can get me financing for the car?
Old man: Son, I could get a horse thief financing.
Silence.
Young man: So the guy actually steals horses? Where do you meet these people?
–F train
Old lady: This is a full sandwich. I said half sandwich.
Waiter: What’s the big deal? I won’t charge you for the whole thing — just eat half.
Old lady: No, no, you don’t understand — I am claustrophobic.
–Flagship Diner, Queens
Elderly man with eyes bulging: They fried up the Pope in a side of vinegar!
Girl: Yeah, they do that sometimes.
–Henry St & Pineapple Walk
Old woman: Ann-Margret is a tramp.
Old man: How can you say that? Ann-Margret is a dish!
Old woman: A petri dish, maybe.
–82nd & Broadway
Old woman #1: How many times have you beaten the video game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas?
Old woman #2: I’m not sure. Maybe three or four times…
–A train
Overheard by: gavin bjørn
