Little boy: Is this a fighter plane?
Grandma: No. A fighter plane is quicker and can only fit two people.
Little boy: … Then why are there lasers?
–JFK
Overheard by: Adam Vine Whip
Headline by: Miss Edith
Runners-Up:
· “Dont EVER question lasers” – melissa
· “For the sharks, of course” – Britta
· “In case you start kicking the seat in front of you” – bobofthejungle
· “To Protect Us From Gay Marriage” – ImmaculatePizza
Old queen #1: I always thought that Dick Cavett was such a little asshole.
Old queen #2: I always found him to be downright delightful!
–Edison Diner, 47th St
Overheard by: I like Dick
Old, disgruntled customer: I wish I was young again.
Cashier: Do you believe in reincarnation? You could just kill yourself.
–Deli, Lex Ave, between 38th & 39th
Overheard by: Becki
Old lady: So, it sounds like you’ve really got your life together.
Woo-woo chick: Yes, with the help of my therapist and my life coach, of course.
–Terminal 9, JFK
Old guy: Oh, look at this doggie. Who is this?
Cute girl: This is Nola.
Old guy: Lola?
Cute girl: Nola.
Old guy: Lola?
Cute girl: Nola with an N.
Old guy: M-and-M’s?
Cute girl: Nola.
Old guy, singing: Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl…
–72nd & Columbus
Overheard by: glad i’m not old
Old hobo: So, can I have your number?
Pretty girl, who’s been ignoring him for a while: Uh, no…
Old hobo: Well, you’re a lesbian! You don’t want no man!
Pretty girl: I already have a man.
Old hobo: Yeah, a lesbian man!
–2nd Ave subway stop
Overheard by: Dahlia
Old lady: … And he was so fed up with this other guy that he killed him.
Old man: Oh.
Passerby, shocked: You’re talking about a movie, right?
Old lady, confused: No.
–83rd & 1st
Overheard by: Wants the book rights first
Old lady looking at Underworld: Man, that Kate Beckinsale is really hot. I would so do her.
–Public Library
Overheard by: Robyn
Old lady: No, man, I ain’t doin’ no E! I ain’t done no E in years!
–86th & Lex
Old lady with cane grumbling to self about jaywalker: Did you see that? He almost got hit by that cab. Too bad — he deserved to die!
–Outside Sarge’s, 36th & 3rd
Overheard by: Goofa Sutra Yogini
Old man: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways… Pie.
–Brighton Beach
Old black lady on pay phone: ‘Do me up the butt’? No, no, honey. That is not the proper way to address a girl.
–96th & Broadway
Overheard by: davees
Old man: What we need in America is more nappy-headed black women on television. That’s what we need to fight for.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Holly Kaye
Old man #1: You gotta watch out for those southerners. Don’t think they’re stupid just because they talk slow.
Old man #2: Yeah, they just talk that way to get you off your guard.
–Health & Racket Club locker room, 45th & Lex
Processed 60-ish brunette: I’m seeing Arthur again.
Processed 60-ish blonde: Arthur from upstate?
Processed 60-ish brunette: No, Arthur from the Holocaust.
–Le Pain Quotidien, 17th & 7th
Overheard by: Nancy Weber
