Vendor guy: Hey baby, do you want the Post delivered every morning?
Hot girl: No, I don’t know how to read.
Vendor guy: That’s all right, I’ll read it to you. I’ll come to your crib and read it to you every morning.
–3rd Ave street fair
Overheard by: Andy Marc
Man: Hi…Nice to see you again.
Woman: Hi.
Man: How’s your Prius?
–Broadway & 8th during Anti-War Rally
Overheard by: Joey Gillis
Crazy guy: Can I taste some of your saliva?
Teen girl: What he just say?
Teen boy: He wanted to taste my salami?
Teen girl: Ha, ha. Say yeah.
Teen boy: Yeah!
–7th Street & 3rd Avenue
Man: You could turn people to stone with your eyes.
Girl: Dude, there are lots of other people on this train, go hit on someone else.
Man: I know, but you’re the closest and I don’t want to move because I have to pee.
–2 train
Chick #1: Hooray, I’m free!
Chick #2: You’d better take your nametag off, then.
Chick #1: Yeah, I don’t want guys who come up to me being all, “Hello, Diana.”
–14th & 3rd
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Woman: Well, he should just get over it. Who doesn’t have a mother who died?
–MOMA cafeteria
Overheard by: Deborah Freeman
Guy #1: Man, how you gonna play like a kid came on to you? A four year old can’t even get it up.
Guy #2: How do you know? You hit on a four year old?
Guy #1: Nah, man. I was one.
–Elevator, Hudson & Houston
Overheard by: Michele
Hobo: Spare some change for the leprechaun? I just need four dollars to get back over the rainbow.
–1 train
Hobo: Yeah man, that’s good shit. Except for those white-ass American bandstand drummers. Whoever heard of fucking Clark Kent playing bongos?
–55th & 9th
Overheard by: Luke Reynolds
Hobo: You want to see the ugliest person…Look over there at the lady in the brown coat. Don’t look though, it could be scary. It’ll electrify ya. Scare ya stiff. That, my friends, is ugly.
–L train
Overheard by: Jess
