Pop Culture

Teenage Lobotomy, the Aftermath

Queer: Who’s Joey Ramone?
Hipster girl: Oh my God, are you kidding me?
Queer: Uh, no. Who is he?
Hipster girl: He’s a singer! He was like, in some huge band in the ’80s!
Queer: What band?
Hipster girl: Um…
Queer: See? You don’t know who the hell he is either. You don’t even know what band he was in.
Hipster girl: It’s on the tip of my tongue…
Queer: Sure.
Hipster girl: Oh well, I can’t think of it. I think he’s dead now anyway. Who cares.

–Irving Plaza

Overheard by: i hope they were joking

Because My Son Plays with Barbies, and He’s Certainly Not Gay

Woman #1: Well, I have a nephew who’s still 10 and enjoys playing with Barbies and likes to cook. Who knows? Maybe he’ll turn out to be gay.
Woman #2: Wait, are most cooks gay? I don’t think so…

–Near United Nations

Overheard by: Brooklyn Dodgy

What’s the Catch?

Chick #1: We can watch Lackawanna Blues tonight.
Chick #2: I can’t watch another black movie. I watched one last night.
Chick #1: What’d you watch last night?
Chick #2: Hitch.

–Office, Wall & William

In a New York State of Mind

Woman #1: Don’t you hate taking the train so early in the morning? I take it every day.
Woman #2: Could you not talk to me?

–A train

Overheard by: aida

Wednesday One-Liners Like Side Dishes

Guy: I like my dick with a little pussy on the side.

–3rd & Bowery

Possible paternity litigant: Paul Newman, another girl, and my mom were all having sex together right before I was born.

–6th St & 1st Ave

The Very Spot Where They First Pitched Joey

Tween girl on tour #1: This hallway smells like a hospital.
Tween girl on tour #2: Yeah, it reminds me of my mom’s wake.
Tween girl on tour #1: Yeah, mine too.

–NBC Studios, 30 Rock

The Bluebirds Who Usually Do It Have the Day Off

Punk girl: So he said he really wants to get me really drunk again.
Punk friend: Why?
Punk girl: Because he said I’m as cute as a Care Bear.
Friend: What the hell does that mean?
Girl: Um, who cares? That’s so sweet… and I didn’t even sleep with him for it. Now help me push up my tits.

–Q Train

Overheard by: Ingss

One Involving Your Pikachu

Girl #1: Yeah, and when I opened the drawer it had a dildo, I swear!
Girl #2: Is that a Pokemon or a game?

–Bryant Park

They Wore White to the Funeral

Girl #1: Guess who my dad saw in an elevator yesterday? Johnny Carson.
Girl #2: I’m pretty sure he’s dead. Don’t you mean Johnny Cash?

–55th & 3rd

Wednesday One-Liners Do Their Little Turn on the Catwalk

Woman on cell, wearing fuchsia catsuit and clutching stuffed parrot: I’m on the corner of Broadway and 69th in a ridiculous outfit.

–69th & Broadway

Buff guy: You know what they used to call me in jail? “Harry the Robe,” because I wore this beautiful white robe after I took showers.

–Madison Ave

Overheard by: gina

Girl on cell: I swear, if I have my underwear on inside out today I am just going to snap.

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: Amused listener

Preppy guy: Is there a philosopher named Kenneth Cole? Because there is this huge billboard with his quote on it.

–Sugar Sweet Sunshine, Rivington between Norfolk & Essex

Guy in black cape and Batman-type mask: No one ever fucks with me when I go out at night rocking this outfit.

–Franklin & Greenpoint, Brooklyn

Overheard by: lil pirate

Girl: Do they even have Prada in Boston? They just have baked beans and Benjamin Franklin, and he’s dead.

–Stanton & Orchard

Girl, walking behind another girl who’s wearing a pink tutu, white stockings, and a tiara: Let her walk alone wearing this on her birthday.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Not Wearing a Tutu

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