Woman #1: Don’t you hate taking the train so early in the morning? I take it every day.
Woman #2: Could you not talk to me?
–A train
Overheard by: aida
Woman #1: Don’t you hate taking the train so early in the morning? I take it every day.
Woman #2: Could you not talk to me?
–A train
Overheard by: aida
Guy: I like my dick with a little pussy on the side.
–3rd & Bowery
Possible paternity litigant: Paul Newman, another girl, and my mom were all having sex together right before I was born.
–6th St & 1st Ave
Tween girl on tour #1: This hallway smells like a hospital.
Tween girl on tour #2: Yeah, it reminds me of my mom’s wake.
Tween girl on tour #1: Yeah, mine too.
–NBC Studios, 30 Rock
Punk girl: So he said he really wants to get me really drunk again.
Punk friend: Why?
Punk girl: Because he said I’m as cute as a Care Bear.
Friend: What the hell does that mean?
Girl: Um, who cares? That’s so sweet… and I didn’t even sleep with him for it. Now help me push up my tits.
–Q Train
Overheard by: Ingss
Girl #1: Yeah, and when I opened the drawer it had a dildo, I swear!
Girl #2: Is that a Pokemon or a game?
–Bryant Park
Girl #1: Guess who my dad saw in an elevator yesterday? Johnny Carson.
Girl #2: I’m pretty sure he’s dead. Don’t you mean Johnny Cash?
–55th & 3rd
Woman on cell, wearing fuchsia catsuit and clutching stuffed parrot: I’m on the corner of Broadway and 69th in a ridiculous outfit.
–69th & Broadway
Buff guy: You know what they used to call me in jail? “Harry the Robe,” because I wore this beautiful white robe after I took showers.
–Madison Ave
Overheard by: gina
Girl on cell: I swear, if I have my underwear on inside out today I am just going to snap.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Amused listener
Preppy guy: Is there a philosopher named Kenneth Cole? Because there is this huge billboard with his quote on it.
–Sugar Sweet Sunshine, Rivington between Norfolk & Essex
Guy in black cape and Batman-type mask: No one ever fucks with me when I go out at night rocking this outfit.
–Franklin & Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Overheard by: lil pirate
Girl: Do they even have Prada in Boston? They just have baked beans and Benjamin Franklin, and he’s dead.
–Stanton & Orchard
Girl, walking behind another girl who’s wearing a pink tutu, white stockings, and a tiara: Let her walk alone wearing this on her birthday.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Not Wearing a Tutu
Old Brit, pointing to float: Who is that?
Wife: Oh, come on, Bill.
Old Brit: No, really. Is it Joey the Clown or something?
Wife: It’s a symbol of America!
Old Brit: [Confused silence.]Wife: It’s Ronald McDonald!
–Macy’s Parade, Columbus Circle
Journalism professor: Can anyone, for extra credit, give me two words to describe this day that will go down in history?
Silence
Professor: I’ll give you a clue — it has to do with President Bush.
Random student: “Mission accomplished!”
Girl #1 to her friend: Mission Impossible? What does Tom Cruise have to do with Bush?
Girl #2: Yeah, I know, that movie isn’t even out yet!
–Silver Center, NYU
Girl #1: …so, my professor started talking about The Diary of Anne Frank.
Girl #2: Oh, Anne Frank! I used to love her! I had the diary, the notebooks and the pencils and everything.
Queer: What?
Girl #1: I think she means Lisa Frank.
–27th & 7th
