Lesbian #1: I love you.
Lesbian #2: Do you love me even when we’re like Bert and Ernie?
Lesbian #1: Of course! Wait, who’s Bert?
Lesbian #2: Me. I’ve been so uptight.
Lesbian #1: Great. So you’re the tall, thin, uptight one and I’m the short, fat, stupid one.
–Union Square
Older brother teaching the finer points of comic books: Yeah, Batman’s really cool. Best thing about him — he doesn’t have superpowers, so he’s really an ordinary guy.
Younger brother: Wow, no superpowers?
Older brother: Well, apart from being super rich.
–F train to Queens
Little girl, sadly: But she got the new Barbie…
Mom: Yeah, but hers is super janky… Yours is the good one, it was all customized for you. You don't want hers.
Little girl: Oh.
–N Train
Overheard by: Brittany M
Asian guy: Hey, you ever play DDR?
White guy: I’m white. No, never played it.
Asian guy: Oh, I played at a friend’s yesterday. His sister was good.
White guy: Are you good?
Asian guy: I’m OK.
White guy: Redeem yourself. You’re not Asian anymore.
Asian guy: Dude, my friends are black. Black people can dance, idiot.
White guy: Yeah, and Asian people are good at DDR.
Asian guy: No, we’re just good at following arrows.
–Times Square
Overheard by: jason
Drunk guy #1: Let’s start the East Village Fight Club.
Drunk guy #2: I’m in.
Drunk guy #1: The only rule of this particular fight club is you have to let your victim know you are beating the crap out of them for being too hip.
–7B, Avenue B
Girl: How old is that guy?
Guy: Who, Bono? 40, 45.
Girl: Oh, and where are they from, England?
–7 train
Overheard by: Jack Kennedy
Old man: Hey, little girl, you dropped something.
Four-year-old girl to mom: I thought you said Santa Claus wasn’t real!
–Times Square
Overheard by: sitting in a bush
Kid #1, looking at the Mona Lisa on Da Vinci Code poster: Hey, look! It’s her again!
Kid #2: Who is this lady? She’s everywhere!
–Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: d.grace
Guy: The thing about Cronenberg is that you have to appreciate him in
context to what he does…which is often unappreciable.
–Belmont Lounge, East 15th Street
Girl #1: Where does Rent take place?
Girl #2: I heard it takes place in China.
Girl #1: Oh, really? Are they going to eat a dog here?
Girl #2: Maybe a puppet.
–41st & 7th
Overheard by: hahaha
