Six-year-old boy: The talent show is tomorrow.
Mother: Oh, are you doing anything?
Six-year-old boy: Yeah, 50 Cent.
Mother: Honey, that’s a little inappropriate.
Six-year-old boy: What does inappropriate mean?
–2 train
Overheard by: Ana Orellano
Six-year-old boy: The talent show is tomorrow.
Mother: Oh, are you doing anything?
Six-year-old boy: Yeah, 50 Cent.
Mother: Honey, that’s a little inappropriate.
Six-year-old boy: What does inappropriate mean?
–2 train
Overheard by: Ana Orellano
Hobo: Was it right to be kicked out of a house for being an adult with a child mind? You don’t get it, lady. There’s a whole house of adults with child minds. Whatever. See ya! Wouldn’t want to be ya!
–F train
Queer: He totally has to understand that he’s crazy and that those Martha Stewart people are crazy too!
–27th street office
Crazy lady: Well, I think you should give me my musical instruments back because I know that you’ve been stealing them every day for the last nine years. Yes, I’m sure! I have proof. You see, that’s not music. That’s not rock and roll. That’s just crazy.
–Bedford Avenue station
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Crazy man: I already told you I don’t have no chicken. Besides, I gave you that tree last week.
–54th & 11th
Crazy woman: I’ve got demons behind me, shit next to me, and the ugly ones in front of me. I need an angel above me.
–World Financial Center
Overheard by: Dr. Ballon
Crazy bag lady: Stay away from the people! Stay away from the idiot Mexicans!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Suit: …and I swear to God, man, the whole time? That creepy deaf-mute babysitter from across the hall?…is watching me.
–46th & 8th
Overheard by: ballpeen hammer
Crazy lady: I don’t believe this. Pussyass son of a fucking faggot!
–Lexington & 23rd
Hobo: Would someone please tell Courtney Love to get her goddamned dick out of my mouth? Thank you! Would someone please tell Courtney Love to get her goddamned dick out of my mouth? Thank you! Would someone please tell Courtney Love to get her goddamned dick out of my mouth? Thank you!
–19th between 7th & 8th
Daily Show warm-up guy: You all know who hosts this show, right?
Audience member: Craig Kilborn!
–The Daily Show studio
Overheard by: Brian Resler
Girl on cell: No…Well yes, you can call me back, just not between the hours of 8 and 10PM…Why do you think? It’s Jack Bauer Power Hour!….Uh, times 2. It’s going to be motherfucking terrorist-kicking time. That whispering bad ass mofo is going to be going on strong tonight for 2 hours. Praise Jebus!…Bam! Pop! Pow! Jacky should be the father of my children. I will however totally call you directly after the show.
–1st Avenue & 5th Street
Hobo: Where are you going?
Drunk guy: Bermuda. I’m connecting to the plane.
Drunk guy: Is that your cousin?
Hobo: Yeah!
Drunk guy: He didn’t even say nothing to you. That’s fucked up!
Hobo: My name is Peter. Peter Parker. I’m Spider-Man’s father.
The hobo shows the drunk guy his bottle. The drunk guy takes out a can of beer and a bottle of whiskey
Drunk guy: So what? You trying to beat me? You started a competition and I beat you. I came prepared.
–PATH train
Overheard by: Tony Gabriel
40-ish white collar: Did you ever see that video on the internet where a woman blows a horse and she gags when he cums?
30-ish blonde companion: Ewww, no.
40-ish white collar: How about that video where this bald guy who looks like Howie Mandel inserts his entire head into this woman’s giant vagina?
30-ish blonde companion: No, I would have remembered that one.
40-ish white collar: Don’t you keep up with culture?
–Waiting in line to see Martin Short in Fame Becomes Me
Overheard by: Big Larry
Guido #1: Tuna is not made from dolphins, bro.
Guido #2: I’m telling you, tuna fish is made from dolphins.
Guido #1: No way, bro, tuna are not dolphins!
Guido #2: Then what are they?
Guido #1: They’re…chicken of the sea.
–9th St. Path Station
Overheard by: Kevin M
Lesbian #1: I love you.
Lesbian #2: Do you love me even when we’re like Bert and Ernie?
Lesbian #1: Of course! Wait, who’s Bert?
Lesbian #2: Me. I’ve been so uptight.
Lesbian #1: Great. So you’re the tall, thin, uptight one and I’m the short, fat, stupid one.
–Union Square
Older brother teaching the finer points of comic books: Yeah, Batman’s really cool. Best thing about him — he doesn’t have superpowers, so he’s really an ordinary guy.
Younger brother: Wow, no superpowers?
Older brother: Well, apart from being super rich.
–F train to Queens
Little girl, sadly: But she got the new Barbie…
Mom: Yeah, but hers is super janky… Yours is the good one, it was all customized for you. You don't want hers.
Little girl: Oh.
–N Train
Overheard by: Brittany M
