Prep #1: I can’t believe he cheated on her! That sucks!
Prep #2: I know. It sucks so bad, it’s practically ridiculous. I can’t think of anything worse than that.
Hobo: I can! The Holocaust!
–42nd and Broadway
Prep #1: I can’t believe he cheated on her! That sucks!
Prep #2: I know. It sucks so bad, it’s practically ridiculous. I can’t think of anything worse than that.
Hobo: I can! The Holocaust!
–42nd and Broadway
Girl: Have you ever realized that we didn’t have any black friends in elementary school?
Preppy friend: That’s because all the black kids were in special ed.
–Sugar Sweet Sunshine, Rivington St
Overheard by: Lauren C
Guy #1: I think she’s Mexican.
Guy #2: Nah, she can’t be Mexican, I’ve been there, they cute but short.
Guy #1: Yeah, now that you mention it, she is a little too tall to be Mexican, but I don’t care, I’ll still hit it.
Guy #2: I’ll hit it and help her get her papers if she doesn’t have them. I’m all for amnesty in the name of getting laid.
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Tydestra, who speaks English
Frat boy #1: Did you see that?!
Frat boy #2: What?
Frat boy #1: That guy just fucked you with his eyes.
–12th & University
Overheard by: Eyefucker’s straight friend
Guy: She’s like so angry at the world.
Girl: I know right. It’s not my fault that she has a lazy eye. I am like seriously considering getting her an eye patch.
Guy: Dude. That would be awesome.
–Yankee Stadium
A bunch of black high school kids in ghetto garb pass two preppily dressed white girls and make loud catcalls at them.
White girl #1: Where the fuck did they come from?
White girl #2: Um, someone took a shit in the sky.
–Outside Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Mexican On Wheels
Frat boy #1: Dude! So if you had a pencil, and she was naked, you could totally fit the pencil in the folds under her ass. She’s just flappy, man!
Frat boy #2: Yeah, dude!
–2 train
Guy #1: I just left a major deposit sitting in that toilet.
Guy #2: You didn’t flush it?
Guy #1: It was an automatic flusher and nothing happened. There was a guy waiting to go in and I just gave him a shit-eating grin when I walked out. I mean, what am I supposed to do?
Guy #2: I wouldn’t use the term “shit-eating grin” the next time you tell that story.
–Penn Station
Guy to buddies: This chick was so ugly I wouldn’t want to cum on her face.
–Off the Wagon
Queer: This place is way gayer than last time.
–XL, West 16th street
Overheard by: straight girl
