Preppy girl with Starbucks cup: That was some shitty-ass coffee.
Preppy guy: Speaking of shitty, Cap’n Nemo’s got nothin’ on me. I shat a white whale in there. It was two feet long and, I’m tellin’ you, it was white! Like, white and one solid length! Took it first try, though. They have good toilets.
–PATH, Christopher St station
Overheard by: Zenana
Preppy guy waiting for walk signal: Hi there.
Hot girl: Um, do I know you?
Preppy guy: No, I was just being friendly…
Hot girl: Oh, yeah? Well then why don’t you say hi to her, too? [Points to fat chick nearby.]Preppy guy, to himself: God, I hate New Yorkers…
–Central Park
Overheard by: well I LOVE New Yorkers
Dude: Is the Banana Republic a real place?
Chick: … I think so. They wouldn’t lie, would they?
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Laura M.
Prep #1: It’s still early, man. Let’s go down to the weight room and work out for a while.
Prep #2: Nah, man, I have to go home and smoke up.
–Hunter College
Prep #1: They made a list of the most important people ever, and you know who they named number one? Johannes Gutenberg!
Prep #2: Who’s that, again?
Prep #1: The printing press guy! I mean, I know he’s important, but he’s not that big of a deal.
Prep #2: Don’t they not even know when he was born?
Prep #1: Well, no. I mean, they know within a year or two.
Prep #2: If they can’t even figure out when exactly you were born, you can’t be that important.
Prep #1: Yeah, and you know who was number two? Isaac Newton! What did he really do other than give something for my math teacher to talk about? My math teacher sweated Newton hardcore. It was all ‘Newton, Newton, Newton.’
Prep #2: You would think that if they were going to rank the most important people of all time, they would research it a little better and include the really important people.
Prep #1: And if it’s of all time, wouldn’t it make more sense for them to wait until right before the end of time?
–Metro North train entering Grand Central
Overheard by: Courtney Messer
Prep: I only drink liquors that have been referenced in rap songs.
–Clinton Hill, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Kelly
Tourist watching Ashlee Simpson video on large screen: I thought she just kinda went away…
–44th & Broadway
Midwest tourist lady to Gary, Mayor of Strawberry Fields: Wow, was John Lennon inspired to write the song from this memorial?
–Central Park West at 72nd Street, at Strawberry Fields
Overheard by: Stuart
Teen looking at poster of Reba McEntire in Annie Get Your Gun: I didn’t know she sang!
–Marriot Marquis
Overheard by: theater babe
Gift wrap lady introducing new volunteers: Hey, John, this is Yoko…
–Barnes & Noble, Lincoln Center
Woman: Who’s Britney Spears?
–CVS, 87th & Lex
Overheard by: MojoSaves
Preppy boy #1: Let’s fight to the death!
Preppy boy #2: Okay, I’ll go get my gun!
–6th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: courtney
Girl to friend: I don’t know, I’m looking for the right guy to take my virginity.
Hobo: Girl, you ain’t a virgin! Butt-sex does too count!
–34th & 3rd
Preppy boy #1: You went to her Sweet 16, and you didn’t know how to spell her name?!
Preppy boy #2: So what? What was the name of that bitch you fucked last night?
Preppy boy #1: Um, I don’t know… But it’s completely different! Totally different situation.
–Track 130, Grand Central
Overheard by: TheSlyVegan
Prep chick: Is it amoebas that come from Mexico? Or am I thinking of armadillos?
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Francesca
White teen girl: So, is there a Friday next week?
–4 train
Overheard by: Gregorio
Girlfriend: If your friends told you to jump down a bridge, would you do it?
–D train, Grand Concourse
Suit to black gangster holding large chameleon: Excuse me, sir. What species of dinosaur is that?
–Manhattan-bound F train
Overheard by: Josh
Teen: So how much would the game cost if it was $17.99?
–Game Stop, Forest Hills
Future zoologist: They have sea lions here! They’re like lions — from the sea!
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Andrew K.
