Guy: I believe in telepathy. I know everything about psychology.
Girl: Telepathy is not an accepted kind of psychology. My dad’s a prominent psychologist.
Guy: Psychologists are torn on telepathy. Take my word as truth…it’s real!
–79th & Lexington
Overheard by: Dave
Frat boy #1: I’ve been reading Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Dude, this book makes so much sense. I totally understand women now.
Frat boy #2: Yeah?
Frat boy #1: Yeah. This girl at work, she was all into me and shit and I totally cut her off, it was cold. She was so annoying. I really understand how to deal with women now. It explains all their games and translates what they’re saying.
Frat boy #2: So I’m reading this book about Transylvanian necrophiliacs…
–1 Train
Overheard by: Suzanne
Young Woman #1: I have to go to this “dungeon” for my Sexual Psychology class. Do you want to come?
Young Woman #2 in her mid-twenties: Is it like an S&M thing?
Young Woman #1: I don’t know. It’s like they act out different sexual
fantasies with whips and stuff.
Young Woman #2: OK, that sounds cool.
— Upper East Side
Yuppie #1: Are you happy?
Yuppie #2: Psychologically speaking, there is something fundamentally wrong with my brain.
–Midtown Apartment
Ice cream shop clerk: “I told my analyst that I met this guy who looks so much like him, it is unbelievable. My analyst then said, ‘well, how does that make you feel?'”
Guy: Yeah, man, that’s true. But you have to keep in mind that while you’re emotionally emasculated, he’s physically emasculated, and there’s a helluva difference.
–Knitting Factory
Overheard by: Patrick Taylor
Scientologist: Ma’am, are you interested in taking a free stress test?
Woman: Hell no. I don’t need no freako to tell me I’m stressed. I already know that.
–Union Square station
Asian yuppie: Now I don’t have to be possessive anymore. Instead, I rely on Jesus.
–Grand Cafe, Williamsburg
Cute blond girl, hearing loud scream: What kid is throwing a temper tantrum? Jesus!
Boyfriend: No, that's just a crackhead.
Cute blond girl: Oh.
–Shake Shack, Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Noelle
Guy: I was diagnosed as depressed.
Friend: What? Like depression?
Guy: Yeah.
Friend: That sucks.
Guy: Yeah… Need some happy pills or some shit.
–Canal & Lafayette
