Young businesslady: I mean, I'm used to it. I go in the bathroom, and they're all in there sticking they finger down their throats, all the fuckin time!
Young businessman: Yeah…
–57th St
Overheard by: Lagster
Young businesslady: I mean, I'm used to it. I go in the bathroom, and they're all in there sticking they finger down their throats, all the fuckin time!
Young businessman: Yeah…
–57th St
Overheard by: Lagster
Hobo: …damn, this is some fucked up shit. Most fucked up shit I’ve ever seen. Motherfucker arguin’ with himself. Who argues with himself? Man, this is some fucked up shit…
–West Village
Overheard by: Matt Muscari
Stoner: We’re on the verge of a spiritual revolution. It’s like Fight Club…but without the violence.
–Union Square
Overheard by: braun bowery
Guy: The fact that bar was full of ugly girls is just ridiculous.
–Union Square
Crazy lady: Fine, stay where you are, Linda! Stay on the streets, stay in the gutter…but put all your stuff away!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jen
Woman: If I die of malaria, you can have my DVD player.
–Union Square
Lady on cell: …so what’s the difference between the East Village and the West Village?
–Union Square
Overheard by: feitclub
Guy on cell: I didn’t throw the lamp at you because I was out of control, I threw the lamp at you because you said I was out of control.
–Union Square
Overheard by: John
Guy: Dude! At least you’re getting head. Bad head is better than no head, any day of the week!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Joy Smoker
Dad walking and holding hands of nine and ten year old daughters: Do you know what the abyss is? It’s when you stare into nothing and nothing stares back at you.
Daughters: [bewildered silence].
Dad: Do you understand? I want you to see that it’s a state of mind.
–E 4th St near 1st Ave
Overheard by: Dan
Hot girl: I feel really really bad.
Sarcastic gay friend: Your conscience about sleeping with married guys catching up to you?
Hot girl: No, it's that stupid Mexican food you made me eat. I wanna puke.
–6 Train
Overheard by: In Shock
Hobo: How are you doin’? Do you need some money? You need a dollar or two?
Woman: No thanks, I’m okay.
Hobo: Okay, god bless you.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Lisa
CCNY student: I've always thought he has psychological problems. (pause) Like, he's one of those people that has to flip the light switch 17 times or the whole world dies.
–Hallway, CCNY
Overheard by: ladyliver
Suit on cell: She is trying to get a good education so that she can pay for therapy later on.
–1250 Broadway
Loud male customer counting out packets of chewing tobacco: One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Ever since I quit my job at Sesame Street, I can't seem to live my life. Kermit is my shrink, so of course I'm screwed…
–Smoke Shop, Park Slope
Overheard by: Kiri
Dude hanging up his cell: Oh my god, I think all Jewish girls need therapy.
–Good Stuff Diner, 14th St
Overheard by: Kosi
Suit on cell: Dude, I know, but like, you either get help, or you're normal. (pause) No, dude, pick one, get help or be normal. Damn.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Sarah
History teacher to class: Does that make you uncomfortable? Because I know I'm mental.
–Bronx High School of Science
Overheard by: Lillian
Cabbie, as man opens passenger-side door: Wait. I am not mentally prepared for this!
–W 50th
Cabbie on cell: Hello? I’m going to beat you up… ‘Cause I want to!
–23rd & Lex
Exasperated cabbie: Why is there a house driving down Delancey Street?
–Delancey & Chrystie
Overheard by: Les Chinatown
Cabbie on cell: No, no, it is not possible. I cannot possibly be back in the city by then — I am at the airport…I could maybe make it back into the city to see you in, like, two hours if traffic isn’t bad in the Bronx. Man, the airport is really packed today.
–99th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Laughing in the back
Cabbie, after getting cut off by another: Goddamn cabbies.
–30th & 5th
Emotional suit: My shrink said I’m dragging my feet to test my wife.
Supportive suit: He could be right.
Emotional suit: No, it’s a woman.
Supportive suit: Oh no! She is manipulating your ass.
–3 Train
Overheard by: EmLo
Ditzy college girl: Yeah, but I’m like a fun drunk, right?
Guy (serious): Ummm… Well, you were kind of saying that life has no meaning and that it’s not worth living.
Ditzy college girl: What?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Gaby
