Woman #1: You just know that’s going to be David in a few years. The one with $6 million just sitting in the bank.
Woman #2: I know. You wouldn’t expect it of him, though.
Woman #1: Yeah. I’m still trying to figure out what kind of insane he is.
Woman #2: Hmm. Manic, maybe?
–6 train
JAP: I did the whole Manhattan/Long Island/Westchester Jew thing this year.
Guy: How’d that work out?
JAP: I think I’m going to cut that phase in my life.
–NYU
Overheard by: A. Pincus
Headline by: Still got my original nose.
Runners-Up:
· “By Which I Mean the Inside Of My Thigh” – Tadzio
· “I Realized I Can Keep the Sense Of Entitlement Without All That Extra Work.” – stoobydoo
· “I Think Hitler Tried That Already….” – Sarah Booz
· “I’ll Tell the Guy Who’s Ghost-Writing My Autobiography Later Today” – Louis
· “JAP Code for I Was Slutty and Need an Abortion” – Casual Observer
· “Sort Of a “Lifestyle Bris”” – Chris
Chick on cell: God, is she crazy? Even I wouldn’t do that, and I’m a total slut.
–39th St & 3rd Ave
NYU girl on cell: Yeah, she really is a crazy bitch. At least I’m getting a book out of it, though. I’m going to call it Next Year I’ll Be in a New Room, But You’ll Still Be Fucking Nuts.
–Washington Square Park
Conductor: Someone has lost a bag of marbles in the cafe car. I repeat, we have a bag of marbles found in the cafe car. Has anyone lost their marbles?
–Amtrak, Penn Station
Communications & media studies professor: I don’t mean to pontificate, but this is the last day of class and I have some important advice for you — never sleep with anyone who is crazier than you are. It can get you in a lot of trouble.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Switching Departments
10-year-old boy waiting for mom: Hooray, hooray, I’m insane, I’m insane, okay!
–Outside Met Food, Cortelyou Rd & E 16th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Leela
Guy #1: Yeah… she's bipolar.
Guy #2: Really? I thought she was straight.
–Spring & Broadway
Overheard by: Kat
Guy on cell: So he said, ‘If you imagine yourself as a hot dog, would you eat yourself?’
–Tribeca
Overheard by: brrrrrrrrrrrrrt
Brunette teenage girl: So I was doing my once-a-month therapy session and…
Blond teenage girl: I'm getting a therapist!
Brunette: Score! (they high five)
–Park Slope
Guy: It’s good to like music. Wait, that came out really bad,
–35th & Lexington
Overheard by: Spooner
Teen in sideways cap: I touched it, but I didn't like it.
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: Ladle
Student: Dude, I think I'm dyslexic with stairs.
–Stuyvesant High School
Teen, seriously: No… Webkinz are definitely a lot more high-maintenance then neopets.
–Downtown 6 Train
Teenage boy: I want to be a Senator or something like that. Like, the Government is the best place to have sex.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Punk teen to friends: Even though it seemed like she was into things, now she's not into anything.
–Union Square
Overheard by: i don't like stuff either
Middle-aged girl #1: Yes, she was sincerely apologetic for the things that she’d done, and she really took responsibility for them.
Middle-aged girl #2: She must have a new therapist.
(both nod sagely)
–1 Train
Overheard by: Suze V
Guy: I don’t know what happened. I was talking to my roommate, and then next thing I know, I’m sitting on the couch in front of the TV eating peanut butter with a spoon. I don’t know how I got there.
Girl: Wow…Do you do that a lot?
Guy: What, black out?
Girl: No, eat peanut butter like that.
Guy: Oh, um…yeah, I guess so.
–G train, Greenpoint Ave
Overheard by: G train enthusiast
