The Technicolor Yawn Of Wednesday One-Liners

Conductor: Vomiting is prohibited on this train. Please, no vomiting on this train.

–LIRR

Conductor: There are only three reasons for an empty train car. A) it smells. B) it's hot. C) someone threw up.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Laura

Gay NYU student: I've already been through the cycle. Eat, vom, feel better about life.

–Tisch Hall, NYU

Conductor: There will be no vomiting on this train. Repeat. There will be no vomiting on this train. (short pause) If you have to vomit, vomit on yourself.

–LIRR, Drunk Train

Overheard by: Jason

Girl to two guy friends: Last night I was traveling back on the train, and there was, like, an airsick bag in the thing and I got a craving for Gardetto's, because the last time we were traveling… (becomes inaudible)

–Atlantic & Bond, Boerum Hill

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Boyfriend to wasted girlfriend: Baby, I swear. This is the best place in New York to throw up. (girlfriend pukes)

–MacDougal St, The Village

Overheard by: Reid Rogers

Posted on February 14, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boyfriends, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Friends, Girlfriends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, NYC Geography, NYU, On the Subway, One-liners, Passengers, Psychology, Public Transportation, Queer guys, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Street, Students, The Village, Trains Not Subway, Vomit, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Because When I Wasn’t at the Library I Was Having Sex

Girl #1: Again? That’s twice this week.
Girl #2: Yeah, I really think I am a nymphomaniac.

–3rd Ave & 60th St

Posted on September 25, 2021
Default, Fears, Friends, Girls, Psychology, Sexuality, Time, Upper East Side

I'm Just Uncomfortable Face to Face With a Stranger

Hipster girl #1: So basically he put his penis in your vagina, but you're too nervous to go on a date with him?
Hipster girl #2: Yep.
Hipster girl #1: Girl, you're fucked in the head.

–1st Ave & 11th St

Posted on August 15, 2021
Dating, Hipsters, Penis, Psychology, Sex, Union Square and East Village, Vagina

Spring is in the Air (Alongside TB)

Hobo #1: I love you.
Hobo #2: Get the fuck out of here.
Hobo #1: What?
Hobo #2: You are going to fuck with me and you are going to get yourself hurt. I mean it!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: bebe

Posted on June 20, 2021
Anger Management, Crazies, Dating, Hobos, Horny, Manhattan, Men, One Night Stand, Penn Station, Pick-up Lines, Psychology, Relationships, Train Station

Wednesdays Are Profoundly One-Linered

Yankees fan to Mets friends: When we go to the Yankees stadium I'll be like a retard at a Chuck E. Cheese.

–Shea Stadium

Overheard by: Danial

Police officer in van, on loudspeaker: Move to the right! (people in cars ignore the order) Retards! You heard me! Move to the right!

–27th St & 10th Ave

Crazy guy, ranting: You can't have sex with people who aren't retarded because they charge too damn much!

–V Train

Overheard by: Ryan P.

Guy to girl: I never said that I wasn't retarded. Technically, I'm not a hypocrite.

–L Train

Overheard by: Julia

Heavily made-up girl: Do you think retarded people are, like, conceptually aware that they're retarded?

–6 Train

Overheard by: You tell me

Girl: The idea of a retarded Jack Russell Terrier is completely foreign to me, because as I recall, Wishbone was exceptionally well-read.

–Columbia University

Posted on February 22, 2021
All Wednesday One-Liners, Books & Writing, Cars and Driving, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Cops, Crazies, Friends, Girls, Guys, Handicaps, Insults, Man's Best Friend, Money & Class, On the Subway, One-liners, Pop Culture, Psychology, Questions, Sex, Shea Stadium, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Food and I Have Agreed to Date Other People

Chick #1: Did you eat anything tonight?
Chick #2: No. I haven’t been eating much lately, but not in the unhealthy way.

–Bowery & Spring

Posted on November 14, 2020
Anorexic, Diet/Weight, Food, Girls, Illness, Psychology, Union Square and East Village

According to the Psychic Friends Network

Girl to random person next to her: I'm one of those shiny people.

–C Train

Posted on November 3, 2020
Default, Girls, On the Subway, Psychology, Weirdness

He Won't Even Use Old Ones to Line His Bird's Cage

Wanna-be preppy: Hey! Is that the newspaper?
Slacker: Yeah.
Wanna-be preppy: Let's have a look at it.
(slacker throws paper into locker and locks locker)
Wanna-be preppy: Aw, why did you do that?
Slacker: I can't let you see it. It's not mine.
Wanna-be preppy: Whose is it?
Slacker: My girlfriend's brother. He's really sensitive…
Wanna-be preppy: Really sensitive about the newspaper?

–Midtown

Overheard by: Kane

Posted on August 18, 2020
Family Ties, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, Preppies, Psychology, Questions, Weirdness

Not to Diminish Your Actual Painful Experience in Any Way

Black guy: When I was little I had an inferiority complex because I was the only kid in my school with nappy hair since I went to a white school.
White chick: I think I read a book about that once.

–118th & Broadway

Overheard by: Alison R.

Posted on July 27, 2020
Black People, Books & Writing, Hair, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Psychology, Race, School and studying, White People

Sorry, the Correct Answer is “Scatophage”

Woman #1: You just know that’s going to be David in a few years. The one with $6 million just sitting in the bank.
Woman #2: I know. You wouldn’t expect it of him, though.
Woman #1: Yeah. I’m still trying to figure out what kind of insane he is.
Woman #2: Hmm. Manic, maybe?

–6 train

Posted on April 21, 2020
Money & Class, Names, On the Subway, Psychology, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Women

Psychology