Nanny to boy blocking slide: Hi, are you going down the slide?
(kid shakes head)
Nanny: Well, can we get past you?
(kid shakes head)
Three-year-old friend: Sam, share.
(Sam shakes head)
Three-year-old friend: Sam, share or I will leave you.
–69th & West End
Young Woman: Are you part Italian?
Older Woman: I’m Italian by injection!
–Private party, NYC
Teacher: What's used to cover a beast?
Student: Underwear?
–Francis Lewis High School
Overheard by: Thank God I'm Not The Beast.
80 year-old Italian teacher: You like fluorescent colors a lot, yes?
Girl: Yeah, I love them. They're great.
80 year-old Italian teacher: There are also people who love midgets. I know. It's an unfortunate love.
–Cooper Union, East Village
Asian guy #1: Hey, would you date a female version of yourself?
Asian guy #2: No way bro, I don’t date white bitches.
–Columbia University
Guy #1: What did you do with her after dinner?
Guy #2: We went back to my place for game of “just the tip.”
–4th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Aussieguy
Father in a playful voice: Vagina? What’s in your vagina?
Four-year-old daughter: A wedgie!
–Canal & Bowery
Overheard by: NikkI W.
Woman to man in Yankees hat: Do you know if the Yankees won today?
Man: Sorry, you’re talking to the wrong guy. I don’t follow sports.
Woman to man in Yankees hat: … So you just wear the hat, then?
–2 train
Overheard by: Caty
Black Santa takes off his beard, puts a cigarette in his mouth and starts to adjust his crotch.
Little girl in stroller: Daddy, why is Santa smoking?
Daddy: Well, obviously it’s a fake Santa…
Other passersby, scolding: Santa!
Black Santa: What? Santa’s gotta friggin’ fix himself sometimes, don’t he?
–Rockefeller Christmas tree
Overheard by: Megan Cowles
(girl runs into a woman crossing the street)
Woman (turning to confront girl): Are you kidding me?!
Girl: Are you kidding me?
Woman: Can’t you see?!
Girl: Watch where you’re going!
Woman: Are you kidding me!?
Girl: Oh god! This is New York, get over it!
–40th St & 6th Ave
